Now,he had nothing but time to look at himself. Still not admitting to himself that his life was perhaps less than good, Ivan lay on his deathbed struggling with what made him feel so restless, in such great pain, so incomplete, so unfinished. It was as if her were continually fighting another man, a dark, unknowable wrestler who had him pinned and was bearing down on him for the final blow. It was hard work to die, particularly when one had not accepted death nor come to any mental, emotional, and spiritual conclusions.

Eventually, Ivan Ilyich reckoned with himself finally admitting that his life had not been exemplary, that he had not been particularly good nor particularly bad. Yet he deceived himself that there was still a chance that he might live. He fought self acceptance, reeling away from the conc

ept as if it were his worst, most repulsive thought. To accept himself in all his goodness and badness would be to surrender to death. His great fear of dying and lack of self acceptance made his suffering that much more intolerable. He fought with all his remaining strength and energy not to die. Yet oppression and death progressed.

In regard to his personal care and attention: I would be committed to active listening. I would spend a great deal of my own time sitting next to him, comforting him, soothing him as best as I could. We would discuss his feelings as much as he wanted to discuss them. I would keep him fairly busy doing as much as he could of his daily activities as long as he could tolerate them. We would work together to tie up any loose ends he might have about responsibilities and unresolved feelings. We would spend time with his family to his tolerance. I would ask him if he wanted to see anyone else for any reason. I would do my best to bring those people to him if possible. I would keep a journal for him and his family of his words and interactions with me. I would touch him or not touch him as he desired. We would confront the issues as much as he wanted them confronted. We would remain silent together as much as he wanted. If he wanted to cry, sing, rage, scream, curse, laugh, or make sustained sounds or noises, he could. I wouldn't stop him unless he was abusing me. If he refused to eat, he could deny himself food and water. I would protect his right not to eat or drink. If he wanted to die in a specific position, place, or way, I would do my best to comply with his wishes. If he rejected life sustaining measures that was acc

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Approximate Word count = 1121
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)