What am I doing here at St. Oak's prison school? I should be out there in the real world fighting crime. PC Evans of St. Oak's Police who really works for MI6 even said to me once "you av eagle eyes you do". That time I helped him find his handcuffs. He said i should be on the force because they need someone like me blessed with many special gifts. Like having eagle eyes not human ones.

I have already solved many of the world's crimes, like attempted kidnap of my cat Alfie and also just across the road I have discovered what I thinks to be Al-Ki-Eeda terrorists in number 14 and my intelligence sources tell me they have nuclear bombs in their basement ready for deployment.

All the kids in my class aint as innocent as they seem. Like the so called babe with red hair called Jessica Simpson. What an ape! She has been taking young lads a bit older than me behind the playing fields at lunch to kiss them. They never come back the same. These guys have not yet reached maturity and don't understand that girls are completely evil and should be terminated from this planet because their existence is furtile.

Opposite me is Ronald Tucker. Fat little piggy with glasses that would eat anyt

A scream of terror woke me from my thoughts as Thomas Whittle yelled that his new yoyo had been stolen. I thought that this had been the third gone in our class. I did not have a yoyo as I believe these immature games should be left to the lesser mortals. Never the less I believe it would be my duty to help solve the case and bring the thief to justice. Then the courts can organise the date of his execution or if he is lucky a long prison sentence. I looked around the room as everyone checked their bags for their precious yoyos. I turned my head to the rear of the class and there like a huge mountain sat Billy Briggs. His belly hung on the top of his desk and his knees nearly lifted it off the floor. Briggs was a troublemaker and he had been caught before moving bags around the school so poeple could not find them. So straight away I added him to the top of the suspects list.

While that operation was in progress I went over to Thomas Whittle who was sitting down in the corner next to the old broken and that was defiantly a health and safety issue that needed to be investigated. Whittle was sat down in the damp corner and I approached him and removed another candy cigarette. 'What's up kid?' I said gazing at him with interrogating eyes. As I tapped the top of my cigarette on the box and then flung it in the side of my mouth. 'What's it to you' said Whittle with a sob. I gave a short dry laugh and showed him my ID. Instant access to what you know I said. I snapped it shut and slipped it back inside my trench coat. So Whittle. Ill ask you again what's going on with this yoyo? I'm gonna catch the thief for the thief so he can be imprisoned. You would not know I was doing the kid a favour the way it was like trying to get water from the Amazon desert. He said for me not to worry about it and he would find it. I knew he couldn't and walking away he called out to me again and he said who are you? I paused in my tracks then swept round and said the names Smith... Sherlock Smith, and continued on.

I waited on the bench and dug into my sandwich looking over the case files that I had taken. Just as I looked up Watson at that moment reported back with his intelligence and a Dairy Milk for me. Negative he said. What do you mean negative. 'Briggs as a new sideminder-winder viper 4,000 mk3, purchased on the 4th of January at magical acts shop in Vale street.'

The next day I called a meeting in our form room. All the suspects were there and with them extra spectators to find out who the guilty man was. They stood all in a circle and I was there in the middle with my hands clasped behind my back twisting round looking at everyone. I cleared my throat and began to reveal the horrible truth I had discovered. It

Some common words found in the essay are:
Saddam Hussein, Billy Briggs, Thomas Whittle, Ronald Tucker, Police MI6, St Oak's, Whittle Ill, Appleby Ronald, Milk Negative, Tucker Fat, trench coat, st oak's, looked watson, someone's eye, billy briggs, mass destruction, ronald tucker, eagle eyes, thomas whittle,
Approximate Word count = 1843
Approximate Pages = 7 (250 words per page double spaced)