Human Adjustment and the Loss of a Romantic Relationship
"I don't know if I'm real without you. I don't know what's real without you. Turn on the radio at any point during the day and you are sure to hear at least one jilted singer crooning a heartfelt ballad about a lost love. The preceding excerpt from the song "Shame" by the group Stabbing Westward is one of many similar sentiments expressed through music since the beginning of time. Losing a loved one, whether due to a relationship break-up or through death can be an exceedingly painful process. It is one that is often full of conflicting thoughts and emotions and a profound feeling of emptiness. However, while countless songs and poems are written about the pain of loss, few are written about the eventual outcome - surviving that loss. Despite how helpless the situation appears, humans are resilient creatures. Through time and appropriate support one can emerge from this period of grief and adapt to the situation. So what is this concept of love that has such a powerful and dramatic effect on us? It is a vague notion that is often best described by the Shakespeare's of our time and not by science, however, some definition seems necessary.
Studies have been conducted to test the likelihood of this type of bereavement following loss of a romantic relationship. For example, in a study entitled "Life Events and Depression in Adolescence: Relationship Loss as Prospective Risk Factor for First Onset of Major Depressive Disorder", the researchers studied the chance of young adults developing depression following a relationship break-up (Monroe, et al.1999). 2) Loss of a protective, safe place for learning and exploring the self and outside world To continue our story, Jenny refuses to make funeral arrangements for her deceased husband or to discuss the event with family members. She goes back to her old routine from before her life changed - going to work in the morning, watching the same TV shows she always had, going shopping on the weekends. To tie in Sprecher's study, it would be interesting to determine what portion of the adolescents that experienced major depressive disorder following a break-up claimed to still love their ex-partner and whether this played a role. The third stage, anger, is an emotion that we are not encouraged to expose by our society (especially women), and regrettably so. Many people feel angry at the significant other for leaving them, at themselves for doing something wrong to cause the situation, or at God for being unjust. Monroe, Rohde, Seeley, and Lewinsohn hypothesized that the event of a romantic break-up was a risk factor for the first onset of major depressive disorder but that it would not significantly effect recurrences of MDD. The researchers felt that few studies had been conducted between this important distinction and that research was too dependant on studying those with a previous history of depression. insignificant as having someone in one's life who will always ask "How was your day" is actually quite important. A spouse or significant other is often a person's best friend and closest confidante - someone they turn to for advice, comfort, or just someone to share experiences with. Losing this person leaves the bereaved without the person they turn to for help right when they need it the most. How does Jenny respond in this stage? One day while having lunch with her mother she suddenly explodes. She begins yelling at God for being so cruel as to take away her husband while he was still in the prime of his life. She demands to know what she did to deserve such a punishment. She follows this by suddenly becoming angry at herself for sending David on an errand that morning. She is convinced that she should have died instead of him and blames herself for causing him to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. A healthy relationship is one that is a learning experience for both partners. Each So why do psychologists feel that feelings of depression occur following the loss of a loved one, whether it be a mutual break-up or an untimely death? This may seem like an obvious question but much thought has gone into pinpointing what exactly is lost in this type of event.
Some common words found in the essay are:
Life's Losses, Shor Sanville, Grand Canyon, Robert Sternberg's, Sprecher PhD, Stabbing Westward, Seeley Lewinsohn, Psychology Results, Follow-Up Evaluation, , major depressive, depressive disorder, major depressive disorder, feelings depression, feels comfortable, onset major, relationship break-up, onset major depressive, factor onset major, adolescents experienced, depression relationship, satisfaction commitment, risk factor onset, factor onset,
Approximate Word count = 2594
Approximate Pages = 10 (250 words per page double spaced)
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