The Secret Sharer
In the novella The Secret Sharer, by Joseph Conrad, the narrator describes his insecurities and self-doubt about being a young captain. The youthful narrator expresses his self-consciousness through obvious gestures through out the story. As the captain is put under testy situations he learns more about who he is and what he has to do in order to be a respected captain. The self- realization that the Captain obtains at the end of the story enabled me to understand my self-consciousness in a certain situation as the team captain of my volleyball team. Being one of the younger ones on the team was quite a threatening situation. I related many situations that the Captain had trying to find a connection with his crew, trying to become respected, and valued. Conrad's emotional style of writing allowed me to become deeply in touch with my feelings about being the captain of my volleyball team. I learned that in order for me to live with understanding of what is going on around me, I must first understand and know what goes on within myself. After weeks of intense, sweaty, exhausting practices with my new volleyball team, it was time for our coach to announce who was to be captain. We all sat in a circle on the hard,
Exploring the emotions that the captain felt made me feel a lot better because I realized that I was not alone. The Captain explains his feelings by saying, "But what I felt most was my being a stranger to the ship...I was somewhat of a stranger to myself. The youngest man on board, and untried as yet by a position of the fullest responsibility, I was willing to take the adequacy of the others for granted." (p.650) These few lines almost exactly explain how I felt during this difficult time in my life. I pushed myself as a young captain trying to understand and help the girls on my team the best way I knew how. These Moments that the captain and I both have are moments of truth, self-recognition, and a confrontation with one's most inner self. By sailing as close as possible to the blackness, the captain narrator proves he will never again be looked upon as a weak or incompetent captain. As I stood up for the first time, letting my team know that they had the power to do what ever they wanted I realized that I had the voice that was capable of letting them know that. cold, wood, gym floor waiting. Coach said, "After studying each of your volleyball techniques, organization on and off the court, devotion, and love for the game I have decided that Michelle would be the best person. Yeah, I know Michelle is a sophomore and usually seniors are the captains but from the looks of it Michelle seems to be the most qualified." Something inside of me shook as I saw the eyes of my senior
Some common words found in the essay are:
Yeah Michelle, Joseph Conrad, volleyball team, Thy Self, sprained ankle, final game, captain volleyball team, captain volleyball, captain trying, looked weak, book captain,
Approximate Word count = 1006
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)
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