Having a baby has become an increasingly popular idea, causing thousands of couples and singles alike to consider parenthood. As Engel (1998) points out, "...the decision to have a baby (adopt a child) is not reversible." Becoming a parent means you are ultimately responsible for another human being's emotional and physical well-being. Many factors and decisions are to be made in choosing to have a child. Belsky & Kelly (1994), Engel (1998), and Gershaw (1996) all agree that exploring reasons to have a child, the couples' relationships, and willingness to become a parent are all very important key issues upon deciding to have a child.

Exploring reasons for wanting a child is a psychological feature in this decision making process to have a child. As Belsky and Kelly (1994) agree, there are many aspects of the parenthood decision. Three major aspects need to be explored: 1. Whether you are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to become a parent 2. Whether you are willing to face the changes in your lifestyle and relationship that this lifelong commitment entails 3. Whether you are emotionally able to provide the kind of environment necessary to

When two people are in a relationship, not only must both people be ready to become parents, but the relationship itself needs to be ready for a child. Deciding whether a relationship is ready for a child involves discovering exactly how having a child effects a relationship. According to Belsky and Kelly's book, The Transition of Parenthood (1994), new parents fight about the five following issues: division of labor, money, work, their relationship, and their social life (p.228). According to the Transition study, the chief characteristic of those couples who are able to successfully make the transition to parenthood is the ability to settle their conflicting priorities. Mutual empathy is another important characteristic to successfully make the transition (Belsky & Kelly, 1994, p. 240). The husband and wife working together in becoming more attuned to one another before the pregnancy is a good example of this.

Throughout all of the research provided, not once did any writers state that a couple had to have be married or have a perfect relationship in order to have a child. The reasoning behind checking your relationship before having a child is simply so the child will grow up in a stable, loving environment and have all the support needed.

Gershaw (1996) provides extremely detailed positions in which a parent might consider before they are willingness to have a newborn. For all parents he inquires: Are you willing to get only two hours of sleep at a time-or even an entire night? Are you ready to have your house strewn with toys, clothes, and other children's' messes (p. 173)? These are just a few questions out of many that Gershaw asks when speaking to applicants wanting to have children. These questions might state the obvious, but are very important in the thinking process of willingness. Willingness

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Approximate Pages = 5 (250 words per page double spaced)