Margaret Atwood's Surfacing - A Reason to Kill
Margaret Atwood's Surfacing is an intensely symbolic novel about an artist whose weekend trip home to search for her missing father turns into a journey of self discovery. The main character in the story is also the narrator and is not given a name probably because readers will be able to identify with her as the story's heroine. Early in the story, she talks about being married, divorced, and having a child. Later it is made known that she was never married, but has had an affair with her art professor. As a result of the affair, she gets pregnant and has to have an abortion. Her method of dealing with the pain of having an abortion is to create a false memory to cover it up. Her false memory becomes so real that she actually forgets until later in the novel that she really did have an abortion. Having the abortion was a horrifying experience for her because she had killed another creature without having a reason for doing so. The abortion symbolizes the killing of her own humanity which causes her to feel alienated from everyone around her. This feeling of alienation is like being confined in a jar.In the novel, there are several references to jars, bottles and tin cans. These items represent methods
During her journey, the narrator has visions of her parents, and later, as she is preparing to reenter the world, she talks about not being able to feel their presence : "No gods to help me now, they're questionable once more, theoretical as Jesus." At this point, she acknowledges for the first time that her mother and father are really dead. She has always perceived them as being super-human, but her prayers to them to help her are not working : " ... they dwindle, grow, become what they were, human. Something I never gave them credit for ... " Once she accepts the fact that her parents are human and have died, they are no longer her source of power. She can now look inside herself to find the power she needs to survive. In the first chapter, the narrator talks about the time Anna read her palm : "'You had a good childhood but then there's this funny break.'" As a child the heroine idolized her parents. Her parents were atheist, so she was never taught to believe in God. She refers to Him as the alien god, and her parents become her gods since they are all she has to believe in : "If you tell your children God doesn't exist they will be forced to believe you are the god, but what happens when they find out you are human after all, you have to grow old and die?" The funny break Anna saw in her palm represents her separation from her parents after the abortion. She was very ashamed of what she had done and did not feel like she could talk to her parents about it because they would not understand something so evil. "They were from another age ... when everyone got married and had a family ... " She also stayed away from her parents in an attempt to keep them young : "'They have no right to get old.'" She says she was sure her parents would remain unchanged : " ... I could leave and return much later and everything would be the same." She wants to keep her gods young because they would lose their power if she had to watch them grow old. It can be deduced that the narrator has always felt trapped in places she did not want to be. On page 58, she says that Anna could be her at sixteen, "sulking on the dock, resentful at being away from the city and the boy friend I'd proved my normality by obtaining ... " She has never felt normal. She even has a career that she did not intend to have and this makes her uncomfortable : " ... it feels strapped to me, like an aqualung or an extra, artificial limb. At the end of the novel, it is not important to know if she goes back with Joe. What is important is knowing that the "child" with which she is pregnant symbolizes the potential to become human. She has regained her own humanity and finally feels in control of her life. She has accepted the deaths of her parents. She has forgiven herself for having the abortion. She has surf
Some common words found in the essay are:
Americans Hitler, Atwood's Surfacing, True Romance, own humanity, killed heron, believe god, natural world, stops eating, emotional life, father dead, survival guides, able feel, false memory,
Approximate Word count = 1891
Approximate Pages = 8 (250 words per page double spaced)
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