Codependancy

A detailed Summary of Codependancy

"Eighty-two percent of the world are probably somewhat, codependent. People are trying to control others, instead of taking care of themselves." (William Yarroll, interview) The term codependency came about in treatment centers in the 1970's. "The heartland of chemical dependency treatment and twelve-step programs for compulsive disorders, discovered it." (Beattie 33) By 1979, women from alcohol anonymous made a meeting for codependence with a twelve-step program.

There are many reasons why and how people became codependent. The people they share environments with, unless they have good boundaries directly affect people. Codependency has many definitions and meanings. "The definition of chemical dependency means being dependent psychologically and/or physically on alcohol or other drugs." (Beattie 31) Drugs and alcohol are the most common. "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." (Beattie 36) Other definitions describe symptoms. There were two stories of examples, I read of other types of codependency. One lady married the man of her dreams and found out later he was a sex addict. Even though he cheated on

Codependency effects a lot of people everyday. Some people realize they have the behavior and others do not. "Once they decide they want to get help, it is not an easy process," says John Bradshaw. Codependents need to learn to take care of themselves and not get involved in other people's issues. Do not other people's life control yours and the 12 step program works if you work it!

Other people have been hard enough on us. We have

they have to find it within themselves. "Codependents feel that love equals pain, and tolerate abuse to keep people loving them." (http://www2.addr.com/~sariaa/codep-rl/codep-rl.htm) That explains why abusive relationships normally end where the victim has learned to value himself or herself.

been hard enough on ourselves." (Beattie 36) While growing up at home, your family has taught you through examples of how to behave. Whether they are good or bad examples, you learned them by watching your parents. "These rules prohibit discussions about problems, open expressions of feelings; honest communication, trust in others, and one's self..." (Beattie 36) Having learned all of these rules, it gets in the way of people living a healthy and productive life. There is an expression that people use: it is hard to break old habits. Codependents do better, as they know better.

Most codependents have very weak boundaries. They will try to be firm and say they will not tolerate any nonsense behavior. Then they will go against what they said and let themselves get their feelings hurt anyway. People who do not practice having healthy boundaries lead a hectic life. The consequences of not having healthy boundaries is by letting others affect them in a negative manner, getting involved into other people's issues and making them their own. William Yarroll's two favorite sayings are "let go and let God" and "there is your plan and then there is God's plan and your plan really does not matter."

Low self-worth codependents tend to, come from troubled or dysfunctional families and blame themselves for everything. They give themselves a hard time for everything, including the way they look, feel, think, act, and behave. Codependents dislike it when people blame and criticize them, which they regularly do to themselves. Life is difficult when codependents take things personally, especially lack of praise and compliments. "Their decision making process has a lot of should or should not." (John Bradshaw, interview)

Codependents tend to put on fronts in order to deal with

When a client comes to the point to where they

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Approximate Word count = 1745
Approximate Pages = 7 (250 words per page double spaced)

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