Raskolnikov's reactions to the people that he meets in Petersburg shows how he tries to listen only to his own reasoning rather than his emotions. For instance, when he meets Marmeladov and leaves money on their windowsill, he suggests that he has done " a stupid thing"...since "they have Sonia and

The person Raskolnikov is trying to hide his true emotions from the most is himself, and his inner thoughts and monologues exemplify his conflict. Before he commits the murder of Alyona and Lizaveta, he asks himself "how could such atrocious things come into my head? What filthy things my heart is capable of." He is trying to hide behind what society deems immoral and despicable in order to conceal his cowardice in trying out his theory. He really does see himself to be better than other people at this point and sees nothing truly wrong with his idea, but his fear in taking the first step is causing him to act logical and self-loathing. Also, after he sees the girl attempting to drown herself, he displays apathy towards himself, saying "I'll make an end, for I want to....But is it a way out? What does it matter? Shall I tell them or not?" He is attempting to be uncaring about his own life, even considering turning himself in, but in actuality it is just him trying to act like his whole situation is not a big deal, that all the events that have happened to him are annoyances that he wants to end once and for all. He doesn't want to acknowledge his own fears or his hidden desire to still find happiness in the world. This idea is further shown later when he laughs to himself, "Yes, I am a louse." He laughs about it and even gets pleasure from saying it because he has a deep-seated arrogance inside him that makes him glad to know of his own intellect and knowledge about people and himself. He is trying to avoid his feelings of misery that he actually has over his life and his inability to get what he wants from it by being haughty. Also, later on at Katerina's funeral, he thinks to himself that "the thought of death and the presence of death had something oppressive and mysteriously awful", but yet he was capable of murdering two women. Emotionally he may not like the presence of death, but his intellectual side was telling him to kill the women for his own theory. It shows that the murdering of the two women was in itself an act to adhere to logic instead of emotion. Later, he wonders to himself whether he will "in those fifteen or twenty years grow so meek that I shall humble myself before people and whimper at every word that I am a criminal? Yes, that's it, that's what they want...Oh, how I hate them all!" Raskolnikov is subconsciously trying to talk himself out of turning himself in by being logical in saying that there would be no good purpose in him being in prison, that they just want him there to break him down. He is too proud to admit that he is afraid, so he puts on his superior attitude to fool himself into thinking differently. Part of what he says he knows to be true,

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Approximate Word count = 1832
Approximate Pages = 7 (250 words per page double spaced)