How To Play Asshole
To all you incoming college freshman that don't want to make a fool of yourself at college parties, learn this drinking game. Perhaps the King of all drinking games, Asshole is a true American classic. Asshole is a game that tests one's ability to concentrate, as well as one's threshold for humiliation, for the object of the game is for those in power to abuse those who are not. I'm sure that most of you out there have at least heard of this game, and I am aware that there are many different ways to play. With this in mind, the following is intended as a basic outline of the rules. The first thing you need is a group of willing and open people, a large table and a deck of cards. Further, be advised that plenty of beer should be on hand as this game has a tendency for mass consumption of alcohol. Shuffle the cards, (I realize that this is obvious, however there are boneheads out there) and remove the jokers. To begin play, have all the cards placed in the middle of the table and have every player draw a card. The player with the highest card, 2 being low and Ace high, is appointed President. The next highest cardholder becomes the Vice-President, and so on and so forth until the player holding the lowest card be
Cheating in Asshole, quite simply, ruins the game. Players tend to become very upset when they find out that they are stuck in a crappy position because someone else has cheated. Cheating can include dropping or hiding cards, or else passing cards back and forth between players during a game. Really good cheaters can pick up cards from the pile that has been swept. Even the Asshole can catch the President on this, and the penalty is election to the Asshole position for the next round. Cheating can be dealt with in other ways and it is up to the creativity of the players involved to see that the punishment fits the crime. comes affectionately known as the Asshole. In the event that two or more players draw the same value card, have those players draw again so that their position can be determined. However, if one of the players involved in a second drawing happens to draw a card higher than the card that of the President that player doesn't become President. They assume the position in question and the loser of the draw-off takes the position below that person. President: can make any player drink at any time, no one may make the President drink but himself. The President should never have to refill his own beer. Vice President: can make any player drink at any time except the President. Normal People: these players can make each other drink as well as the Beer-bitch and Asshole. Beer-bitch: helps the Asshole with duties, but has power over him and him only Asshole: for many reasons, this player is truly the Asshole. This player has to do all the dealings of the cards, all sweepings of the cards after the hands, and can't make any other player drink. 3.Pass. If he or she chooses to pass, they must have a sip of their chosen beverage. Players may pass at any time, even if they have a playable card in their possession. 4.Play a "2", resulting in an immediate ending of the round. Let me say that I've seen it all in this game. From an Asshole forced to strip, to placing a sock on his penis and mouse ears on his head, to a young female Assette smoking a cigar while wearing a pair of the President's jockey shorts, her beer soaked and completely see-through bra, and nothing else. It doesn't have to be this raw, but why wouldn't you want it that way? Playing Asshole is easiest to describe by giving several scenarios to illustrate how play flows. Let us say the President begins play by throwing
Some common words found in the essay are:
, Cheating Asshole, Secretary Anarchy, Asshole President, Asshole VP, Asshole Beer-bitch, Remember President, Asshole Play, King Ace, Doorman Beer-bitch, president player, single card, play begins, player drink, drink president, player drink president, game players, deck cards, object game, pair sevens, president player drink, position asshole,
Approximate Word count = 1648
Approximate Pages = 7 (250 words per page double spaced)
|