In Remarque's All Quiet On The Western Front, Paul Baumer encounters many inner struggles. Through examining the changes occurring within himself, he finds he can no longer relate to his own past. His present thoughts and feelings are quite reclusive in nature and as he looks ahead, he finds himself fearing how the repercussions of the war will affect him in the future. As Paul reflects on his past, he realises that it is difficult for him to believe that he used to write poems or plays: "And of this nothing remains." (Remarque, pg.23). That aspect of his previous life seems unreal and incomprehensible, perhaps even vague because since he came to the war he feels cut off from his early life. It is as if he has lost the person he used to be. Not only does Paul feel he has lost himself as he used to be, but he also believes that he would not be able to recapture his past, even if given the chance: "...these memories of former times do not awaken desire so much as sorrow...Once we had such desires-but they return not. They are past, they belong to another world that is gone from us." (Remarque, pg.106). From this quote it is clear that Paul feels his childhood is out of reach. He has lost his desire to recapture his memories, perhaps recognising that they may not mean all that much to him now anyway, due to the fact that he feels he has already lost the world those memories originated from. When Paul returns home on leave, he realises that it may not be him losing a previous world of memories, rather the previous world is losing him: "I cannot feel at home amongst these things...There is a distance, a veil between us." (Remarque, Pg.139). Paul feels out of place when he returns home, reinforcing his fears that the war has changed him irreversibly. As Paul recognises this occurring change throughout the novel, his thoughts and actions become reclusive. After killing an enemy soldier in battle, the effects of the war on his sense of self become evident. Talking to the dead man he has killed, Paul says: "from you, taken life- and from me-? Life also." (Remargue, pg. 193). He feels he has lost himself, and although he is still alive, he feels that the man he previously was no longer exists. Recognising the severity of the way in which the war could potentially affect him, Paul reacts by repressing his thoughts and feelings about the war. He refuses to put his experiences into words while speaking to others, in fear that the reality of his experiences will become evident and the true essence of everything surrounding him will become painfully clear: "What would become of us if everything that happens out there were quite clear to us?" (Remarque, pg. 143). Paul recognises that if this were to happen he would no longer be in control of his emotions because they would overwhelm him. He cannot risk upsetting the delicate balance he has achieved in his efforts to avoid madness: "We are little flames poorly sheltered by frail walls against the storm of dissolution and madness, in which we flicker and sometimes almost go out." (Remarque, pg. 143). Paul is clearly struggling to hold onto his sanity. If he were to admit realities to himself, he fears that the frail walls he had built will collapse and the madness he is trying so hard to repress will likely flood in and extinguish his flame. However, although he is attempting to repress the madness as a technique of survival, he realises he cannot continue in this manner forever: "Whether I have subdued it, I know not. But so long as it is there it will seek its own way out, heedless of the will that is within me." (Remarque, pg. 247). Paul recognises that despite his efforts, he will eventually have to face the realities of everything he has experienced in the war and he cannot help but fear how these realities will affect his future. Acknowledging that the war has changed him, Paul begins to anticipate the inner struggle he will face in order to regain his old self to once again merge wi

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Approximate Word count = 2815
Approximate Pages = 11 (250 words per page double spaced)