It all began when I decided to be the head surgeon on another boat. I was thinking, "Hmm all the other times I've been on a boat, I've experienced some things that made me seem crazy to others, wrecked my life, made my wife leave me for some dirtball doctor, and made me virtually insignificant to my son, it probably won't happen again". Of course I was dead wrong and I found myself fighting the sea for my life once again. Despite my harsh luck, I managed to salvage some things from our wrecked ship. Some of the items included: a knife, a pocket watch, a pair of glasses, and a twig.

I reached land in about a day. When I reached shore I looked up upon this small island, it looked beautiful. I just wanted to sit on the beach and look up at the desolate trees that were swaying. I could not handle all of this beauty; it knocked me out, literally. When I awoke I noticed that some of my things had been moved about. Each item was placed in a navigational direction: north, east, west, and south. I also was aware that my hands were placed in the direction, n

At the end of our little excursion, the mime led me into another strange building. This building seemed like a pub of some sort. In fact I knew it was a pub because I saw the Witch of Blair kicking back a few brews with her buddies, Princess Diana, and Montel Williams. I flashed them the sign the mime showed me a few times because I really like them. The mime and myself then entered a smaller room with a colored man in the center of it. He seemed really important, I wanted to show him that I respected authority so I said to him, "Jigga what?" then I flashed the greeting sign. Before I knew it the man took out some sort of object and began beating me with it (when I felt where he hit me later, the indentation felt like it said Louisville Slugger, but I wasn't too sure about what it actually said). The man stopped beating me after a few minutes, actually I lost track of time after the 135th time he hit me with the object, so I could be a little inaccurate about the time that passed.

I must have stayed in this place for many years because when I returned home everyone I knew was dead and my only son was married. I warned him about marriage, less than 50% of all marriages work these days, but he never listens to me!

"Sir, step out of the car" he said.

I noticed something covered with shroud, it was a sign in English but it did not make sense to me. Upon further investigation I learned that the sign must signify a warning of some sort, for there was a hole right behind it. Just then I did a 180 as I heard something behind me. Sticks were cracking and rocks were being thrown around. At first I thought it was the Witch of Blair, but then I remembered that the witch was always drunk and even if she was capable of harming anyone she wouldn't be much of a threat, stumbling around and stuff like that. I started to laugh I could make out what was making the noises, it was a mime. Jeez, they're everywhere these days, and they don't even pay taxes. I knew that mimes don't talk so I ran up to him and started making signs with my hands. After a few minutes the mime stuck up his middle finger at me, I thought to myself, "What a strange sign, I think it is a greeting of some sort". So then I stuck up my middle finger at the mime. I guess I was right because he signaled for

Some common words found in the essay are:
People People, Witch Blair, Ford Cobra-GT, Louisville Slugger, Jigga Replied, Lugz Unlike, Montel Williams, Ghetto Superstar, sign mime, stuck middle finger, flashed sign mime, middle finger, i've followed, license registration, pocket watch, witch blair, stuck middle, people people, flashed sign, shore looked,
Approximate Word count = 1551
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page double spaced)