But What Do You Mean

A detailed Summary of But What Do You Mean


In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" the linguist Deborah Tannen advances her theory that women and men employ different communication styles and have different communication needs in conversation and interpersonal relations. She stresses that neither male nor female style is inherently superior to the other. Nor does she take a firm position that society or environment is primarily to 'blame' for this distinction. Rather, Tannen adds a refreshingly cool and scientific perspective to the 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' debate, without refusing to consider sexual differences or, conversely affirming that sexual differences must control us.


es the area of language interaction where men and women are apt to differ, so her readers may be more aware of these differences, and less apt to take offence when such differences 'scramble' intended meanings of the speaker. This is crystallized in the title of her essay. "But what do you mean?" Men want to know the literal meaning of what is being said. Women, in contrast, are more interested in ascertaining the emotional and social implications that come through the speaking process-thus what seems like idle chatter about liking someone's shoes on the surface, to a man's ear, may actually be affirming a positive relationship, and thus be quite valuable to the f

Some common words found in the essay are:
Deborah Tannen, Italy Tannen's, , employ praise, essay mean, sexual differences,

Approximate Word count = 450
Approximate Pages = 2 (250 words per page double spaced)

Category: English

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