The Importance of Divorce and Communication
In the past few decades, divorces have become much more common than they traditionally were. Lack of communication has been identified by psychologists, marriage counselors, and clergy members as the main reason why families end in divorce. The last-reported U.S. divorce rate for a calendar year, available as of May, 2005, was .38% divorces per capita per year (National Center for Health Statistics, 2005). Since every divorce involves two people, the percentage becomes somewhat more meaningful if you double it; for example, .74% of the entire population gets divorced every year (National Center for Health Statistics, 2005). This paper will first analyze the divorce statistics in the United States, along with a discussion of the issue of communication as it relates to the reasons behind divorce, family breakups, conflict in marriage caused by different cultures, lack of friendship in a marriage, and what can be done to salvage a marriage before it ends in divorce. It will conclude with a summary of my personal thoughts and insights on improving my own interpersonal communication. Research indicates that although the divorce rate in the United States appears to be very high, this statistic has actually decreased in compariso
n to recent years. For example, in 1991, the divorce rate was almost 10% higher, at .47% (National Center for Health Statistics, 2005). In 1998, the divorce .42%, and in 2001, .40% (National Center for Health Statistics, 2005). Thus, it does appear that the divorce rate in the United States is decreasing slowly. The total number of U.S. divorces reported finalized annually was 957,200 in 2000, 944,317 in 1999, and 947,384 in 1998 (National Center for Health Statistics, 2005). The total number of U.S. marriages reported celebrated annually are 2,355,005 in 2000, 2,366,623 in 1999, and 2,267,854 in 1998 (National Center for Health Statistics, 2005). An examination of these statistics reveals that the divorce rate is very high in comparison to the amount of marriages. It has often been reported that 50% of the proportion of marriages taking place right now that will eventually divorce, which has since been revised downward to roughly 43% by the National Center for Health Statistics but was moved back up to around 50% by the Census Bureau in 2002. Families of today break up for communication related factors, due to the fact that marriage today is far more complex than in earlier times. In the 1950s and earlier, roles for men and women were clearly defined, and each partner knew what was expected of him or her (Dreyfus, 2002). People referred to men's work and women's work, and if each partner filled those explicit expectations, there was a reasonably good chance that the marriage would endure (Dreyfus, 2002). Men were supposed to be strong, silent, competent, unemotional, problem-solvers, good providers, handy around the house and protectors. Women were supposed to be good cooks, competent housekeepers, seamstresses, social, religious and nurturers. As a result, men and women cut each other a great deal of slack in other areas, so long as each played by the prescribed rules and played their socially defined roles (Dreyfus, 2002). With the technological evolution, the women's movement and increased life expectancy, came a profound change in these static, traditional roles (Dreyfus, 2002). I truly believe that communication is necessary to make a marriage work and last in the long run. My own interpersonal communication can be improved by understanding the cause of a problem and letting others know my feelings on the subject. If I remain silent, no one will know that there is a problem and my feelings of anger will just escalate until I eventually blow up. When this occurs, it is too late to solve the problem. Although I am not married and have no plans to marry soon, I can implement an improved communication in other parts of my life. I can also improve my communication in my friendships, to ensure that these friendships last just as a marriage would. After all, friendship is an important and necessary aspect of a marriage as well. One way I can better communicate is to express
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Approximate Word count = 1969
Approximate Pages = 8 (250 words per page double spaced)
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