A Parody of Jonathan Edwards Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God

A detailed Summary of A Parody of Jonathan Edwards Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God

Oh, you modern suburbanites! Worshipers at the temples of conspicuous consumption, as if you could text-message the divine Himself! You desperate housewives, stressed-out students studying for your SATs, filled with self-regard rather than concern about eternity! You content Sopranos-watchers with time to watch hundred channels of cable but no time to pray! You adolescents with thousands of ring tones upon your text-message heavy cell phones but not a prayer in your heart! You all think you are protected in your gated communities, fine public schools, and SUVs the size of armored tanks! But you are not, woeful sinners! Though you may think that ferrying your children to a variety of wholesome after-school activities earns you grace in the eyes of the Almighty and the right to spend more money on a pair of shoes than a poor person spends on food all month, you are wrong! You are as vulnerable under the foot of God as one of the soccer balls your children kicks across a pub

God's pleasure keeps us alive, not the goods we accumulate, or our works and our deeds, even our good and secular deeds towards others. His will keeps us out of hell alone. Thus judge not your neighbor, although his lawn be untidy or though he plays his music far too loud at nights. You are no better than he! Only the capricious will of God allows you to eke out your days without getting downsized at your job, prevents you from being cast out of your home by an angry spouse, or prevents your precious electronic equipment from being swept away in a hurricane! You, we, are all unworthy, so we should be upon our knees, on all of our hardwood floors in thanks to God for simply allowing us to dwell upon the earth! It is by chance alone that you have stumbled into such fine lives of leisure, but chance can just as easily take such wealth and leisure away, I say! So be grateful for what you have been given, and know that these are gifts, not things that you have earned by your own

Some common words found in the essay are:
Martha Stewart, God Lo, , virtue earned,

Approximate Word count = 662
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)

Category: Religion

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