Whereas sex is a biological term that denotes male or female in terms of their reproductive organs, gender is learned through socialization. Genderization begins in infancy when adults say baby boys are handsome and tough while they call baby girls angelic and beautiful. Unlike their reproductive organs, gender is not something we have. We learn to construct it, enact or perform it by choosing to wear clothing associated with masculinity or femininity, for example, adopting a certain communication style, and pursuing interests and goals that society has deemed ap

One more thing happened at this event. The bartender (and owner) Bob said, "Thanks for coming, folks. Maybe next week we'll have more people here." The two women reassured him that they had had a "very nice time," even though not exactly as expected, and "just the four of us" wasn't a problem. Caroline even said she liked it better. Again, this was typical feminine style communication-to reassure Bob that everything was all right and, thus, maintain their relationship with him. The men agreed that it is more fun when there are more people playing and more competition. If I lived close by, I'd go to this event again and see how it plays out with more members of the community present.

They had barely started their game when Roseanne said, "I'm upset today." Caroline immediately put down the dice she had been rolling and made eye contact with Roseanne. Roseanne said her son Sean had left his wife and come home to live. Caroline said, "Oh, my. What happened?" As the story unfolded, Caroline asked astute questions. Sean's wife, it seems, has a teenage daughter from her previous marriage named Brandy. The girl resents Sean. When Sean told Brandy to turn her music down, she called him a fucking asshole. This was in front of her friends. He took hold of her wrist, shook it, and told her that was no way to talk.

Masculine and feminine communication styles were very clearly seen in this exchange as well as gender-specific roles. The women couldn't decide it was time to go home-it had to be the men's idea. Roseanne more or less suggested that she had to get up early and left it to her husband to decide it was time to go home. The man is supposed to be the leader and head of the family and show decisiveness. Both their verbal and non-verbal communication supported this. Women "make suggestions." They don't give orders. When Roseanne said she had to get up at 5:30 in the morning for work, she was suggesting that Doug decide to go home. Thus, women contribute to their own subservience to some extent in the way they communicate. It's hard to break old habits, especially when they involve basic socialization learned in childhood and still approved by society.

Meanwhile, the women played Yahtzee (a dice game) at the table and talked quietly-except when one of them rolled a Yahtzee (five dice all the same number). When this happened, they sang out excitedly, "Yahtzee! Yahtzee, Yahtzee, Yahtzee!" The second part was sung in a sing-song like "Na-na-nah-na-na-na..." that kids sing when they tease other kids. When this occurred, Doug would call out, "Now, now, girls...don't get too loud." Women are not supposed to communicate loudly (but it is all right for the men). In general, Caroline and Roseanne were not all that engrossed in the game they played. It seemed to me that the game was just an excuse to talk and socialize with each other, and they didn't really care who won. They wanted to maintain and strengthen their relationship and the game was a vehicle for that.

Throughout this exchange the women maintained eye contact. Caroline leaned forward, listened intently, asked questions, and made supportive remarks. They kept their voices low. It was like a classic example of feminine communication style aimed at intimacy and connection, what Deborah Tannen (1990) describes as "where individuals negotiate complex networks of friendship, minimize differences, try to reach consensus, and avoid the appearance of superiority, which would highlight differences" "p. 26). The women talked face-to-face about something personal and important to them and expressed their feelings freely to each other. They appeared to be equals in every way.

Afterward, Roseanne said she felt better. She and Caroline resumed the game but continued to mull over whether or not the wife had been happy before this incident with her daughter occurred. Of course, Doug did not mention the event to Paul. It would violate masculine communic

Some common words found in the essay are:
Doug Paul, , Sean Sean, Roseanne Caroline, Erving Goffman, Elwood Delbert, Paul Gotta, Roseanne Doug, Home Depot, Lake Bar, communication style, tannen 1990, communication styles, masculine communication, eye contact, masculine communication style, yahtzee yahtzee, gendered communication styles, organs gender, started game, doug won, played shuffleboard, reproductive organs gender, yahtzee yahtzee yahtzee, kirtley weaver 1999,
Approximate Word count = 2668
Approximate Pages = 11 (250 words per page double spaced)