is one thing, and one thing alone, that we as a nation need to return us to the subservient, useless entities that we truly are. That one thing is a king. What better man for the job than William Jefferson Clinton?

A king and Bill Clinton are so utterly dissimilar that I know I must sound crazy, but just embrace this idea, however ludicrous it may sound, for just a moment. I mean think about it. Would it be that much of a change? Clinton is already, by far, the most powerful man in the universe. Let us just analyze the things that made a king and the things that make Bill Clinton.

First of all, a king was able to wage war with whomever he wanted, without the approval of a legislative body. Is that not what Clinton did earlier this year? We waged a war with a country tens of thousands of miles away under the flag of NATO, which Clinton practically controls anyway. He used the United Na

Some might say to impeach him or just to wait this out because he is leaving in just over a year anyway. However, I say no to this because he might be replaced with someone just as bad or worse, such as Al Gore, the most boring man in the country.

He has also repeatedly sold American patents to the Chinese. Again, was he reprimanded? This traitorous act was ignored by both the American justice system and the American people. Want to know why? Because he is Bill Clinton, the most powerful man in the universe.

A fine example of his moral ambiguity is the whole marijuana thing. This was before we even elected him. He admittedly smoked an illegal substance. Was he punished? No, because he is Bill Clinton, the most powerful man in the universe.

Let us not forget the whole impeachment fiasco. Clinton admittedly committed perjury in a deposition to the grand jury in the Paula Jones sexual harassment case (which I will get to later). Perjury is a felony. Was Clinton charged, removed from office, or even formally reprimanded? No, because he is Bill Clinton, the most powerful man in the universe.

Kings were also able to enact any laws they saw fit, again, without the approval of a legislative body. Has Clinton not done this already? Take the partial-birth abortion law for example. Now I support a woman's right to abort her child but, in my opinion, this goes too far. This method of "

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Approximate Word count = 947
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)