A Not so Modest Proposal
Yesterday's slogan "fight the system" has been replaced by today's "take advantage of the system." Many a supermarket employee can vouch that an alarming problem is the growth of individuals who take advantage of our nation's welfare system. Today the ability to breed has become a form of employment. However, these employees do not receive the customary currency for their jobs. The government employs these people and their payment is access to beer, cigarettes, and anything else other than food at the local grocer. A welfare program should be used to help the economically disadvantaged not raise one's social status. It's a shame for humanity and our nation when an individual can carry a cellular phone in one hand and a government check in the other. The Puritan work ethic has now become unnecessary. With the average household on welfare being a family of eight, the poor's easiest profession is similar to what is known as "the world's first profession". The morals of our great nation have been reduced to those of animals. During our happier days of the Baby Boom, children were born out of marriage, not lust or necessity. Sadly, those happier days are a part of the past, and our population is rapidly growing. W
A close friend has helped me to solve this great enigma. She is a highly skilled and trained veterinarian who is greatly knowledgeable and has a widespread practice. Due to her years of training, she has learned that the only way to control a population of a species is to surgically prevent pregnancy. This excellent scheme that we as civilized individuals deem so worthy of praise for exercise upon our beloved pets is more than capable of curing our growing ailment. Any man or woman who is on welfare will merely become spayed or neutered upon receiving the first welfare check. Those who are already on welfare, will of course be spayed and neutered in due time. The children of welfare families will also become spayed or neutered before they reach the age of reproduction ability. A woman on welfare who does give birth before the procedure has taken place will have an advantage. She and her child can both be fixed before they even leave the hospital. Through this program, the lower class will eventually become nonexistent. The poor couples of our nation will be unable to breed, and will eventually die without producing an heir. After the current generation has died, the tradition of parent passing the life of welfare to child will no longer continue. Our nation will be smarter, richer, and more efficient. This program will not only benefit our government, but everyone. The affluent citizens will no longer be forced to raise their children among gang members and trailer park children. Children will not have to borrow money from parents because employment at McDonald's will be reserved for acne-ridden teenagers, not forty year-old mothers of three. Without the lower class, we will live in a safer and happier community. ith an average of 20,000 women becoming pregnant daily, our well bred children are forced to be raised next to twice as many children of loveless, fatherless, and poverty ridden homes.
Some common words found in the essay are:
Baby Boom, United States', , welfare families, children born, lower class, spayed neutered, woman welfare, happier days, welfare system,
Approximate Word count = 1302
Approximate Pages = 5 (250 words per page double spaced)
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