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My wife used to hate playing cards with me. "You're too competitive," she kept saying. "You get so intense, you can't just have fun-you always have to win."
That didn't have anything to do with the way I felt, but try telling her that. All I could do was deny that I'm competitive . . . .
I suddenly realized that when the subject had come up before, the only reason I'd denied being competitive was that Kay had made it seem like such a dirty word. "Sure, women are just as ambitious and aggressive as men," she had said once, "but we've been inhibited from expressing our competitiveness. We were told when we were young that the only way we could compete was for the attention of men-to compete in any other way was 'unfeminine.' But society defines competitiveness as a brutal, winning-is-everything attitude. So, if by competition you mean imitating the
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Three-Mile Harbor, Six-Mile Harbor,
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my wife, competitiveness, competition, my friend, dirty word, playing field, Harbor, Sexism, macho, insulting, forgiven, joking, ethic, brutal, competitively, sports, hate, aggressive, spur, adolescent, our wives, companionship, achievement, just reality, self satisfaction, pride, Arthur, right back, bowling, the subject, sharing, softball, cards, humor, experience, code, football, image, professional, society,