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sexism or realty

My wife used to hate playing cards with me. "You're too competitive," she kept saying. "You get so intense, you can't just have fun-you always have to win."

That didn't have anything to do with the way I felt, but try telling her that. All I could do was deny that I'm competitive . . . .

I suddenly realized that when the subject had come up before, the only reason I'd denied being competitive was that Kay had made it seem like such a dirty word. "Sure, women are just as ambitious and aggressive as men," she had said once, "but we've been inhibited from expressing our competitiveness. We were told when we were young that the only way we could compete was for the attention of men-to compete in any other way was 'unfeminine.' But society defines competitiveness


So when my wife says that men can't relate to one another except competitively, that it's a way to disguise their animosity or assert their superiority-no more apologies from me. I now argue that there's much more going on, that men just as often use competition as a means of expressing acceptance or respect or sharing . . . .

My wife just couldn't see that competitiveness means a lot more to men than that win-at-any-cost ethic .

Now, I am not going to deny that there are elements of adolescent insecurity or latent hostility or sexual rivalry in a lot of competition between men-all I'm saying is that there's another side to the story. Take male kidding around for instance. I always tell my friend Arthur that he exaggerates so compulsively, he'll even tell people his summer his hous

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Approximate Word count = 537
Approximate Pages = 2 (250 words per page double spaced)


  

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