How To Win Friends and Influence people

A detailed Summary of How To Win Friends and Influence people

How to Win Friends & Influence People, by Dale Carnegie

This book was written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie. Some of the terms and vocabulary used are dated but the advice and information can still be used today. It deals with communication with others and the need for all parties to be able to perceive the objective from the others' viewpoint. The perspective of the book is from a position of power or management but it can be useful to anyone that reads it. While this book is useful, it should be remembered it was written during a time when the people in the workforce had a very strong protestant work ethic socialized into them.

The book is divided into four parts, and they are: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. The next section is called: Six Ways to Make People Like You. The third chapter is titled: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking. The final segment is called: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment.

The titles to the sections are somewhat blunt and imply manipulation instead of understanding or compromise but the book stresses seeing things from the viewpoint of others and resolving conflict in mutually acceptable ways. The emphasis of the book is teaching

I have learned an important lesson from this book which is fundamental for all relationships. Any relationship is consensual. All parties implicitly agree to work within some type of boundaries. These implied boundaries create the structure and the nature of the relationship. Any party to the relationship can upset this structure by behaving in a manner that does not fit their role. The roles are defined by the individual's power and position within the relationship.

The advice Mr. Carnegie relates in his book is helpful but either people have changed drastically or he was a truly naive person. His assumption is that an individual who respects his/her employer and has a desire to accommodate him/her, will make decisions logically, based on the mutual cost and benefits. This isn't always true. In fact, it probably isn't true half of the time. I am a manger for a local business and I have tried to use some of the advice from the book for problems which occur frequently. I have had some success using his advice. I have found no real support for his assumption that most people behave rationally or use logic as a tool for decision making.

Even abusive, personal relationships have this arrangement, otherwise the relationship could not exist. Individuals within abusive relationships, have psychological and/or socio-economic reasons that prevent recognition of the nature of the relationship or they feel an inability to exist outside of it.

For example, absenteeism is a major problem. I have an employee that worked part-time. She supports herself and one child. She was calling off from work about once a week. She and I discussed this, she said she was having problems with her car and nee

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Approximate Word count = 1148
Approximate Pages = 5 (250 words per page double spaced)

Category: Novels