One should not be confused and believe that his father was not loving or caring of Paul because his father did what he could to support Paul and to do all he could to get Paul out of problem situations. He just was not very keen on Paul's needs, especially his manners or clothing. The narrator described Paul's clothes as being "a trifle outgrown, and the tan velvet on the collar of his open overcoat was frayed and worn" (67). Men are not the gender who is as observant and uptight about people's attires. Men tend to desire less than women do, and this was inflicted upon Paul since it was his father who was overseeing Paul's limits on material well-being. It takes more of a female's point of view to judge if something looks perfect, and Paul and his father did not have this type of direction around. A master

At the sight of the soloist in the choir he described her as "the mother of many youth . . . that worldshine upon her, which, in Paul's eyes, made her a veritable queen of Romance" (70). He replaced her for a moment as the mother he longed for. He felt love

I believe this was his mother emerging from inside him - it was qualities and likings of hers that made Paul feel complete. Even the red carnation that often he had sported on his coat was the symbol of his mother that he could not let go of. It was the part of his outfit that gave him a hint of neatness. Things of the feminine nature, such as flowers, music, paintings and champagne that all appealed to him. He had lacked this form of appreciation because he had no mother, and when he came in contact with such materials, he almost felt the sense of oneness with something womanly; something that he was missing. It all seemed to make his stronger and able to recognize more about life and appreciation of the world. This is how I came to the assumption that all he needed was the motherly nurture to be able to feel life in an optimistic view. Paul had never been a participant, but always on the outside because of the fear and dread of disapproval in society. He was repressed and paranoid that people could see through him and see his insecurity. Once people could see this about him, Paul would completely fall apart. It was this secret that he had inside that kept him together. He knew something nobody else did, and he wanted to keep that security.

for her and become lost within that thought as well as the music. She was numbing his pain for the instants that she was in sight. She was the mystical part of his soul that he missed inside.

Some common words found in the essay are:
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Approximate Word count = 1825
Approximate Pages = 7 (250 words per page double spaced)