Soliloquy for Judas
Was I so wrong, so arrogant? Maybe it is right that I found my way here, a place where life has lost its plan, its blueprint. A land, I thought, so rich with promise when first I saw it. I saw diversity and young life springing from the ground. Only now I see the truth; stunted shrubs, misshapen weeds, and this lone tree that so resembles a withered, angry old hag. These things are now my proud testament to deeds not fully understood, even by me. I stand now, confused and alone, in this rocky and unforgiving place of solemn purpose. Did fortune so well know me as to guide my hand in its purchase? It is precisely these times when even a well-propertied man can find himself alone, so alone, so soul shatteringly alone. If I could but remember now the joy of finding your glory and power resting in a man. The wondrous thoughts of freedom, answered prayers, the knowledge of total and eminent destruction of our oppressors, all these sang in my heart with golden voices. I felt, at hand, a proclamation. The substance of which was the peace of a cleansed earth, an earth with none but the righteous children of God, maintaining the law. I was privileged to watch as your son gathered a massive ar
Oh Lord, who will pray for me? Lord, as I commit my soul unto the bosom of Abraham, I ask--was I so wrong? The guards now committed, even to death, knew they were just now mere pebbles before the oncoming wave. The people around us, a thousand raindrops, gathered. And the kiss, how to tell someone what it is like to be just a man and to bring about a new age with only a pressing of the lips. The vision of time and fate was powerfully on my eyes. No other purpose, no other fire could distract my holy mission. Birth was upon us. Peter drew his sword. A guard's ear fell. Judea's hope poised itself on the thread of your words. The certainty of "now" struggled for existence. my using nothing, nothing but acts of compassion and love. Saw patience and wisdom in his words and deeds as he carefully garnered his power; and the foresight, oh yes, the foresight, to harvest the poor and unclean masses, a cunning maneuver. They could be so useful in our battles, and after our great victory, I could see where those deserving few that aided us could be brought fully into the law. I was awed by his authority, the way he forgave sins, healed the sick, and comforted the masses. Every kind of proof he gave I witnessed--everything--everything from feeding the multitudes to raising the dead. Maybe I should have listened more to the man though, as did my friend Peter. Would it have been much help? I wonder. Probably not; I saw too much the power, remembered too much the promises, the promises of a fiery sword, wielded by a just and noble messiah. Oh my dear Lord, hear me! I am a good man, a just man, a knowledgeable man, well taught by your rabbis and your prophets. I know and keep the law. Should now, I wonder, it not be wise to wait? Would maybe one day, two days, or even three days wait bring ease to an ugly face? Or is it in not waiting that I find my test given? Will the Maker of all things that blessed me once, withhold now his hand from my life? Lord, with this, my sash, I make a binding to still the quivering of my throat. A Galilean, in his simple ways, could not know the depths of rage or hate that fire a Judean furnace. See now, Lord, how much easier and understandable it would have been to fulfill our dreams? Someway, somehow, the purpose was
Some common words found in the essay are:
, Birth Peter, Galilean Galilean, Lord Abraham, Oh Lord, Oh Why, lord sash, oh lord,
Approximate Word count = 1542
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page double spaced)
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