Flashbulb Memories
About one year ago I remember hearing about some very awful news. My grandmother had died suddenly. In my mind it was impossible that this could happen. No one who was close to me had ever died before. It was even harder to believe because my grandmother had been much more healthy than her husband. She still worked as a babysitter during the days, and that is where she died. She was taking care of a four year old child and had a stroke while sitting in a chair. The little boy just thought she fell asleep. He tried very hard to wake her up, but obviously couldn't. When the paramedics finally came they said she had died the minute it happened. To me the strangest part of my memories of that day is the fact that I don't really remember being told. I think this may be because I didn't believe it. My grandmother had taken care of me many times in my childhood. She lived in the next town over with my grandfather for my whole life. Every holiday she would cook so much food for my entire family, that there would be leftovers (and my family is huge seeing as my last name is ------) How could this woman not be ten minutes away anymore? I just couldn't believe my parents and maybe that is why I don't remember being told.
When I discussed with my mother what she remembered about my grandmother's death, she describe something totally different. She told me about hearing the news. She is a science teacher in the high school of a town about twenty minutes away. At the end of the day while she was staying after to correct some papers her name was called over the PA. She told me that she remembered that this was a Wednesday and she was very concerned as she walked to the main office so she could accept the phone call. People do not usually call her at school. My flashbulb memory is consistent to the research I have done on the subject. When I think back to what happened that day, it is just like looking at a picture. The only difference is that this picture includes all my senses. I can hear the sympathetic condolences being whispered behind me, I can smell the "old people" cologne that filled the room, I can still feel the smoothness of the white satin beneath my fingers. I read that some psychologists believe these types of memories can not exist, or that if they do they fade. I think otherwise. I know that in ten years I will still remember my grandmother, and I am happy for that. On the open lid there were pictures of some of my cousins. There was Jr and Josh in one of those professional pictures with the blue background that you can get done at department stores. There were more pictures I can see in my mind even now of Greg, Stacey, Geoffrey, Denise, Marrisa and Shannon. I wished I had a picture of my brothers and I to go in there too, but I didn't. I have a feeling that my experience of the memory of my grandmother's death was much more traumatic and emotional than my mothers. I may be wrong. She just may not have wanted to share with me everything because she knows how much I was affected by it. When I researched these types of memories, many of the literature I found stated that the memories stay in place more when they are more emotional or traumatic. This is why people with post-traumatic stress disorder mostly never forget how they felt at the time of a tragedy.
Some common words found in the essay are:
, Marrisa Shannon, John Kennedy's, Kolk Fisler, Thu Jan, Wed Sep, Jr Josh, Pages Articles, Title Web, Memory Web, date visited, web site, visited 11/18/99, web site update, date visited 11/18/99, site update, don't remember told, believe grandmother, white satin, space shuttle, types memories, don't remember, remember told,
Approximate Word count = 1689
Approximate Pages = 7 (250 words per page double spaced)
|
