The better which a person develops an understanding of themselves and of the other people around them, the better able they will be able to develop intimate relationships. A person who has a negative model of self and has a negative model of others , otherwise known as Fearful, is going to shy away from attachment and be socially avoidant which obviously is going to affect the crisis of intimacy versus isolation. The example describes a person who is hesitant to make long term commitments and resists urges to display intimacy, but is capable of forming a dependency on him by the other in the relationship. A Preoccupied person has a negative self model and a positive model of others. They often tend to be overly dependent and ambivalent. The example suggests a person who might be shy and conservative but is capable of not displaying their awkward feelings to the other person. A Secure individual has a positive model of self and others. They are comfortable with intimacy and autonomy and often do not have a difficult time in forming intimate relationships. The example describes this person as someone who is very capable of healthy relationships and good communication skills. It seems like a
secure person has all the good qualities that any relationship requires. And finally, a Dismissing person has a positive model of self but a negative model of others. They are characterized by denying attachment and their counter dependency. All of the differences among the different models result from past experiences in the individual's life. How they were raised in terms of different parenting styles and methods of child raising affect an individuals internal working models of self and others.
Differences in internal working models of self and others as well as differences in attachment styles can be accredited to various influences. For example secure individuals have memories of their parents being warm and affectionate while Ambivalent people tend to remember their father being unfair. Differences in attachment beliefs and attitudes such as the amount of self doubts and self worth one has and ones ability to understand others are obvious from secure to ambivalent. Secure people tend to feel that others are trustworthy and dependable while avoidant folks think that social situations are difficult to understand. And finally while avoidant people need to maintain distance in relationships, secure and ambivalent people desire intimate re
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