Summer began and I had a time-consuming job at the pool as a swim team coach, a swim instructor, and a lifeguard. I tried to go over to visit my grandparents as much as possible because I knew that Pappy would not make it much longer. One day as I returned home from work my mother told me that Pappy had a new tumor. He was going to have to get a MRI to find out whether it was benign or malignant. When my grandmother had taken him to the hospital, the doctors would not allow her to be in the room with him during the MRI. This caused Pappy to have a panic attack and not be able to complete the tests. All the doctors knew was that there was a tumor on his spine, and that it was slowly deteriorating his ability to walk and move around. It was suggested to my grandmother that she put Pappy on Hospice Care, where a hospital bed would be placed in the house for him along with a daily nurse's visit, medication, and someone available to help after a phone call. After long, hard discussion my grandmother decided to go along with this plan. Pappy could not walk or do anything without the help of others and this seemed like the most sensible thing for her to do for both of them. It was heart wrenching seeing him lying in that bed almost completely helpless. He was able to feed himself, but Pappy needed help standing if he wanted to move to his chair which was right next to the bed. He couldn't even shift positions in the bed without help. My grandmother could never leave him alone because he was incapable of doing anything for himself, by himself. The doctor's said that he would probably only last in such a condition for a short time.

Never having experienced a situation of this caliber before, I was not sure of how to handle it. I grieved and cried, but I do not think that I ever opened up to let my real emotions out. I miss him dearly, but in many ways being off at school makes his death seem unrealistic because I do not see my family often anyway. I realize that at the next holiday it will be odd not having Pappy there as a part of the festivities, as an important part of the family. Death of a loved one is something that everyone experiences and has to learn from. It caused me to began to examine the value of life, what it means to be alive and live life fully, as a result of his passing. Death is not a pleasant new literacy to experience, but is necessary in the evolution of life.

I got into high school, I began to realize that my Pappy was not doing as well and going as strong as I had pictured. One could easily see the gray streaks coming in to his hair, turning it from a dark brown to a sort of salt and pepper look, and finally to a light gray. He began to resort to the use of a cane when walking around. My parents never really informed what was happening, just that he was not doing well or in the hospital or had worsened in his c

Some common words found in the essay are:
Hospice Care, Eminent Death, Colorado Pappy, hospital bed, Pappy Hospice, told pappy, pappy hospice care, die soon, worse worse, hospice care, pappy hospital, pappy hospice, realize pappy,
Approximate Word count = 1942
Approximate Pages = 8 (250 words per page double spaced)