If you want to experience something totally euphoric, try driving under the influence. Driving gets much more interesting with blurred vision. If the cops catch you drinking and driving, they will haul you off to jail and lock you up in a cell for the remainder of the night.

When you feel your life is coming to end due to the affects of alcohol, don't fret, because you will have known you lived life to its fullest. The biggest legend of all would have to be the man that died of alcohol poisoning when he got up to see who was at his door. It was the Alcohol Anonymous group. He sure showed them. I hope that you now understand all the benefits that come from being an alcoholic. Please drink for the well-being of yourself, because beer isn't just for breakfast anymore.

It's kind of like staying in a motel if you think about it. If you have a chance to escape the law, put the pedal to the metal because they usually end up confiscating all your stash and a lot of beer money. My only tip is drive after each night out because you know what they say, practice makes perfect. Also, if you are a person who likes to change cars frequently, drinking and driving provides the perfect opportunity, because you bound to hit a telephone pole or two. Being an alcoholic is one sure way to get the women and be proud of yourself. Girls really get into the staggering and bad breath. Girls think it is really great when you need them to le

Some common words found in the essay are:
Satirical Essay, Alcohol Anonymous, night drinking, start drinking, drinking driving,
Approximate Word count = 784
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)