Love1

A detailed Summary of Love1

In theory, people make decisions about becoming involved, romantically or otherwise, with other people based upon a number of criteria with which they evaluate the qualities of the other person. In some situations an individual may consciously think about the criteria, or qualities, they are looking for in that individual and then evaluate if the person meets the criteria. In most cases however the person does not consciously think out this process, but simply "knows" if he or she likes the other person or not. In some cases, the most important criteria, at least initially, are surface type attributes, such as race, appearance, or material wealth. In addition, the individual will sometimes intuitively know that the other individual is not appropriate to start a relationship with but is overwhelmed with the surface appearance. For all of these reasons relationships will sometimes fail since the initial evaluation can be based upon qualities that are not truly the most important for a long lasting relationship. I will try to show that based upon two characters in American Knees, their relationships failed, or at least struggled, since they had not explored the most important qualities of the other p

A second sub-thesis of this discussion relates to relationships that are chosen for individuals. For example, a mother, father, sibling would fit into this category. In these situations, the individual does not do the same type of evaluation since there is no decision needed to become involved in the relationship. However, at some point in the life of an individual they actually do recognize that a relative meets, or does not meet, the most important criteria for a long lasting relationship. In these cases there can be anger and frustration since individuals may conclude that this person does not have the qualities you want and yet by definition they are chosen for you. I will show in Comfort Woman, that characters find-unappealing qualities in relatives, and this causes them frustration and anger, since they had no choice in establishing the relationship.

The second part of this paper deals with similar issues involving relationships and how certain of these are chosen for us. For example we have no power over whom our parents or other relatives will be. We are brought into the world with no actual choice or decision regarding who our family will be. Sometimes we are pleased with this outcome and sometimes we are not. However, there is nothing a person can do to change this outcome. The novel, Comfort Woman, by Nora Okja Keller, involves a relationship between a mother and daughter, struggling to forget the past and move into the future. The main character, Beccah, finds herself in a situation where she has many conflicting feelings for her mother. Her mother, Akiko, who by some standards would be considered eccentric, or even mentally disturbed, raised her. Their relationship when Beccah was very young can be considered a very close one. As she gets older and more aware of her surroundings she recognizes many qualities in her mother (some she likes and some she doesn't) that complicate their relationship. Beccah, at the young age of ten, notices that her mother sometimes enters into a transient state leaving behind all normalcies's of life. Beccah states, "At ten, despite all the people coming to hear her talk this way, I was still afraid that someone would hear my mother's craziness and lock her up." Beccah does not seem proud of her mother her but concerned for her, almost as if the roles were reversed. She wanted to protect her mother, and hope that some day her mother would be become "normal." It is during this time in her life that I believe she does a real assessment on her mother. Occasionally she is embarrassed by her presence, and at one point, wishes her mother wasn't there. "It has taken me nearly thirty years, almost all of my life, but finally the wishes I flung out in childhood have come true. My mother is dead." Beccah says. There is much pain in her voice over the death of her mother and her feelings are extremely complicated. She recognizes certain hardships that Akiko had endured and how she had still cared for Beccah, yet she is still embarrassed by certain behaviors.

Beccah's attitudes at points are very harsh, showing anger and frustration. Beccah thinks, "Where earlier I had cherished the moments my mother paid attention to me, recognizing me as her flesh-and-blood daughter, I now began to cringe whenever she studied me...." Beccah is sizing

Some common words found in the essay are:
Okja Keller, Asian Asian, Indian Latino, Love Glance, American Knees, Comfort Woman, Darleen Aurora, Raymond Aurora, Raymond I'm, America Raymond, lasting relationship, american knees, qualities person, relationship beccah, protect mother, comfort woman, race appearance, raymond aurora, situations individual, relationships chosen,

Approximate Word count = 2241
Approximate Pages = 9 (250 words per page double spaced)

Category: English