2. How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

Answer: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into her disk drive.

3. What can Life Savers do that men cant?

4. What is good on pizza but bad on *censored*?

5. Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Answer: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

6. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Answer: If your girlfriend chews before swallowing.

7. What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy together?

Answer: a red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

8. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?

Actual Label Instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.

Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

14. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and

16. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help

10. What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?

18. What do you do with 365 used rubbers?

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Some common words found in the essay are:
Little Mermaid, Tell I'll, Ex UPS, Monica Answer, Answer She's, Label Instructions, American Airlines, Raggedy Ann, Boot's Children's, Answer Melt, what's difference, sex answer, answer don't, days you're, monkeys apes, raggedy ann, common answer, call blonde,
Approximate Word count = 1763
Approximate Pages = 7 (250 words per page double spaced)