The search for the illusion of love
Its existence has been questioned no less than that of God, truth, and the limit to our universe. It has no textbook definition, because, like cold temperature, nobody has yet been able to agree on a concrete meaning of it. It is the key topic of countless songs, poems, books, works of art, plays, movies, and quarrels; and yet, we don't even know if it exists. Nevertheless, when asked, most people will say that they have experienced the unidentifiable feeling of love. Many people will agree that our need to be loved is just as basic and important as our need for water, food, and shelter. A human being can go without water for hardly more than a day, and food for a few days before he meets the inevitable ending. When this happens, several biological factors result in the shutdown of our bodies. But how does a person die from not being loved? In The Drama of a Gifted Child, Alice Miller presents her personal theory on what makes us yearn for that elusive feeling of love. Like most deep-seated emotions, this longing stems from events in our early youth, according to Miller. To better understand Alice Miller's viewpoint, we must first define a key word in her philosophy. Narcissism is defined by Alice Miller as emoti
It has been determined that the human mind does not develop the ability to reason logically on its own until around the age of seven years in most people. Until then, we are all not only physically, but also emotionally, defenseless; anything can hurt us. Coincidentally, our minds are extremely absorptive at such a young age. This was obviously nature's intent in order for us to quickly learn basic survival skills in order to survive. After an egg is fertilized, the miracle of its development into an infant is miraculous because it's so fragile, and so many things can go wrong. Similarly, the human mind is just as fragile, with perhaps even more harmful events which can take place. This, according to Miller, is where we often experience abuse from those close to us. Whether it's a mother repeatedly scolding a child, or a schoolmate maliciously hurting the feelings of another, it leaves permanent scars on our souls. This is what causes narcissism and our confusion. From this moment forth, the youth will grow and develop with this misconception about love in the back of his mind. He unconsciously believes that the only way to obtain the love which was provided by the mother, is to act the way others want him to. This person does not live for him or herself, but for the approval of others. Consequently, the belief that what is
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Approximate Word count = 910
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)
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