This question has a variety of different answers as they can differ immensely from culture to culture. Two opposing views of marriage, and the steps leading to it, are related about in Gary Soto's "Finding a Wife" and Ved Mehta's "Pom's Engagement". "Finding a Wife" describes the notion of western love and the idea of free choice. Contrasting with this theory is "Pom's Engagement," which proposes the idea of arranged marriages in the Indian culture. Although these stories contradict in many aspects of how to come about marriage, they both have their share of strengths, along with weaknesses.

Shouldn't marriage be as easy as saying "I want to marry you" (Soto, 75)? Mr. Soto certainly believes so, as he depicts his story of the virtues of happiness through love at first sight. As Mr. Soto is walking down the sidewalk to his apartment, he sees a "Japanese woman . . . cracking walnuts on her front porch" (Soto, 75). After he passes by the young woman, Mr. Soto realizes that "what [he] needs [is] a woman" (Soto, 76). Soon after this incident, Mr. Soto walks past her porch so often that they begin to have daily conversations, eventually leading to

This path leading to love seems absurd in the eyes of a westerner but carries more strengths than the 'romantic' love. The investigation process gone through by both sides of the family concludes that the families being united have similar backgrounds, with numerous commonalities between the two. "It is a uniting of ideals and purposes, and a merging of them" which makes these marriages successful and beautiful (Mehta, 84). Financial stability has been established as the father knows there is a bright future ahead of this man, and the two will learn to communicate and live with one another. These ties can bring a couple closer together resulting in true happiness

Unlike "Finding a Wife", "Pom's Engagement" forces the issue of marriage upon a teenager who most likely has never had previous dating experiences to know how to work through the rough times of a relationship. Pom is given no choice of men to choose from and has to obey her father out of respect of the cultural traditions. In this marriage arrangement Pom will be the one that will have to "sacrifice for him" when a problem comes about between the two (Mehta, 83). And through this sacrifice of the woman will the man start to respect the woman. Even though Pom's parents "encouraged independence" and decision- making on her own as a child, she is left with no freedom of choice.

An entirely different view on the approach of love comes from the Indian culture and their beliefs. The story "Pom's Engagement" by Ved Mehta begins with Papaji explaining that by "right and tradition the oldest daughter has to be given

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Approximate Word count = 1072
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)