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V-day Satire

After serious consideration and years of technical and psychological studies, we the people have unanimously decided that as a matter of national importance, Valentines Day should no longer be commemorated on February 14th.

Our studies have concluded that the Gregorian calendar, as we Americans know it, has been set up for those people who are involved in a romantic relationship. Spring is the time of mating, when animals as well as people find their soul mates. However there are always a few stragglers that never quite seem to find their "true love." Those who do not find their mate in this period of time are offered a second chance during what we would call a "summer fling."


e of false security as if they were loved throughout the holiday season.

Now that things have started looking up for them it is time to find a date for that infamous New Year's party. Everyone knows that you cannot very well go to a new year's party with out a date. When the ball drops you would have to run into the corner, throw your arms around your self and grope your back as if you were the make out king of the millennium who has just landed, yet another one. But the joke is then back on them when they have to walk away from the corner empty handed while everyone else just shakes their head, or laughs and points.

This person has now been forced into a downward spiral that they will never again emerge from. The only logical solution to sacrifice their souls form the horror of Valentines Day that will arrive in s

Some common words found in the essay are:
Valentines Day, Jesus Christ, Christmas Christmas, Sincerely People, valentines day, Hometown USA, Frank LoBiondo, , true love, year's party, mistle toe,
Approximate Word count = 558
Approximate Pages = 2 (250 words per page double spaced)


  

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