The so called 'narcissistic personality disorder' is a complex and often misunderstood

disorder. The cardinal feature of the narcissistic personality is the grandiose sense of self

importance, but paradoxically underneath this grandiosity the narcissist suffers from a

chronically fragile low self esteem. The grandiosity of the narcissist, however, is often so

pervasive that we tend to dehumanize him or her. The narcissist conjures in us images of

the mythological character Narcissus who could only love himself, rebuffing anyone who

attempted to touch him. Nevertheless, it is the underlying sense of inferiority which is

the real problem of the narcissist, the grandiosity is just a facade used to cover the deep

The Makeup of the Narcissistic Personality

The narcissist's grandiose behavior is designed to reaffirm his or her sense of

adequacy. Since the narcissist is incapable of asserting his or her own sense of adequacy,

the narcissist seeks to be admired by others. However, the narcissist's extremely fragile

sense of self worth does not allow him or her to risk any criticism. Therefore,

meaningful emotional interactions with others are a

narcissist. Such an individual is told you are superior to others, but at the same time

In effect the narcissist perceives the object as just like me. The most evolved

archetypal expectations. Nevertheless, so long as the mother reasonably fulfills the

narcissist to be attractive. At a slightly higher level exists the narcissist who acknowledges the separateness of the object, however, the narcissist views the object as

phases (normal autism and normal symbiosis) and the four subphases (differentiation,

praise the narcissist his or her grandiosity will increase, but when criticized the grandiosity will usually remain unaffected because the narcissist will devalue the criticizing person.

good enough mother, that the narcissistic condition will occur. When the mother-child relationship is damaged the child's ego does not develop in anoptimal way. Rather than form a secure 'ego-Self axis' bond, the child's ego experiences estrangement from the Self. This Self-estrangement negatively affects the child's ego, and thus the narcissist is said to have a 'negativized ego'. The negativized ego than proceeds to compensate for the Self-estrangement by suppressing the personal needs which are inherent in the Self; thus the negativized ego of the narcissistically disturbed person is characterized by strong defense mechanisms and ego rigidity. A person with this disturbance has distanced himself from the painful emotions of negative experiences and has become egoistic, egocentric, and narcissistic.

Kohut believes that narcissism is a normal developmental milestone, and the healthy

person learns to transform his or her infantile narcissism into adult narcissism. This

transformation takes place through the process which Kohut terms transmuting

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