Untold Pain
Doodling on a piece of paper while my back was up against the hard surface of my dresser, I sat there listening to a story I will never forget. My father had been acting strange lately, and looking back at it all, it was as if he knew that he had cancer and that all of our lives were about to take a huge u-turn. Talking to my dad was fairly unusual, especially on the phone. He was always busy with his own life, after all it is tough to juggle several girlfriends, businesses and children. Although everyone saw him as a young man, the truth was that he was already seventy-three years old, and his birthday was coming up soon again. It was highly unusual for a man that old to have a daughter still in high school, but then again, my father hadn't planned on getting one of his girlfriends pregnant eighteen years ago. The owner of a six bedroom, three bathroom, four car garage home, along with a few vacation houses and piles of apartments, buildings and offices, it seemed that my dad was pretty fulfilled. He never told many stories of when he was younger, and the few he did tell, he just recycled and told to the next group of people. Known for being a charismatic intellectual, not only did he have al
l the friends he wanted, but they all highly respected him. Several times after he told her the news, they got back together and she would try desperately to make it work. He had made his decision though, and changing his mind would be impossible. They drifted apart, but neither would ever forget the other that they had loved. Within another year or two, Anne was engaged again and married. But she hadn't loved him the way that she had my father, but my dad was also engaged to marry and this time he followed through. Shortly after Anne had married she began to realize that her husband was not as sweet as she was, and that life was not going to be easy. They had begun receiving gifts from friends and family for their engagement, and the wedding wasn't that far off. However, my father had begun to doubt whether he was ready or not to settle down with Anne. He loved her, there was no question about it. She hadn't understood It shows that emotions should sometimes dictate instead of the head, but I already knew that my dad was dictated by reasoning, and that sometimes following your heart was the road to take. However I never would've guessed that my dad had lived through this, and so what he told me right before he hung up the phone made me a slightly wiser person. And in every instance I've ever tested it, it has come to be true. As people we all want to understand each other and we're always comforting one another by telling them we understand them. My father told me something "Occasionally I still dream about her, I see her holding my hand or taking a walk with me," my father told me. He said he knew he wasn't responsible, but he would always wonder what if he hadn't changed his mind, he knew she would still be alive. He had loved her, and explained that they could've adopted children and they could have still had the family they wanted together. He told me he knew that it wasn't his fault, but sometimes he wondered if in some ways it actually was on his shoulders. Whether or not anyone else held him accountable, obviously he has carried that on himself his whole life. that I will never forget, and that is, "no one can ever know the amount of pain someone else has endured in their life, only a small piece of it." And that is true. An
Some common words found in the essay are:
York Island, God Anne, Pain Doodling, Shortly Anne, Words Count, father hadn't, told wasn't, loved father, father told,
Approximate Word count = 1529
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page double spaced)
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