Children of Divorce
One of the strongest determinants of how well a child adjusts to divorce is whether the former spouses support each other in their continuing relationship as parents. Although this cooperation is essential for the child's secure adjustment, it is often difficult for parents to achieve. When two people divorce there is usually a great deal of hurt, anger, and distrust between them. Both must cope with difficult feelings of betrayal, rejection, and failure. As a result, former spouses may continue to vent their anger and bitterness toward each other for many years after the divorce. Unfortunately, however, one of the most common ways that parental hostilities are expressed is through the children. Without exception, children develop psychological problems when a parent communicates anger toward the former spouse in ways that erode the other's parenting authority. There is no need for parents to pretend to their children that they have positive feelings for the former spouse. However, parents do need to support one another in their relationship with the children. In other words, each spouse must communicate to the children that the other is still their parent, cares for them deeply, and should be respected and obeyed. It is
Divorce appears to be particularly hard on adolescents. Children who experienced a parental divorce during adolescence are more likely to be involved in substance use and to report problematic substance use than children who experience no divorce. Adolescents from disrupted families also reported lower psychological well-being, lower self-esteem, lower sense of mastery, higher strain with parents, and more substance use than their counterparts from continuously married families. When children are allowed to treat one parent in a disrespectful way, their attitude will extend to other adults in their lives as well. These children are learning that they do not have to treat others with respect or follow rules and regulation. This is very serious because it often leads children to behave in illegal or physically abusive ways when they are older. This antisocial tendency is exacerbated by their parents' role model, which shows that anger and contempt are acceptable ways to relate to others. The children's ability to form caring and mutually respectful relationships will be impaired throughout their lives if this pattern is not rectified. It is destructive when one parent undermines another with criticizing comments. Criticism is very difficult for children to deal with. There are many reasons, but one of the most important ones is that
Some common words found in the essay are:
, former spouse, anger former, anger former spouse, parenting authority, former spouses, role model, relationship parents, mother's rejection, parents able, parental divorce,
Approximate Word count = 911
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)
|
