"Dying Of Embarrassment": A Reflection
Public speaking, test taking, eating in a restaurant, writing in public, and dating: What do all of these have in common? They are all situations in which social fears occur. The book, Dying of Embarrassment by Barbara G. Markway, Cheryl N. Carmin, C. Alec Pollard, and Teresa Flynn details a proven program for overcoming social phobia and social anxiety. This self-help book provides the reader with questionnaires, coping skills, powerful cognitive behavioral techniques, real-life examples, and most importantly it provides clear guidelines to help someone decide whether or not they need to seek professional assistance. All of these mechanisms are designed to help someone conquer their social fears by themselves and in return make him/her a stronger person. In order to decide whether or not you have a social phobia the term social phobia must be defined. As stated by the book, "it is a disorder characterized by a persistent fear of criticism or rejection by others" (3). Individuals with this disorder fear that they will behave in a way that will result in humiliation. My personal experience with social phobia is just that. Everyone is afraid in some point in time that he/she will fail to do something right, resulting in an
The symptoms social phobias are pretty obvious and I am sure that the majority of individuals have experienced. Everyone should be quite aware of the bodily changes that occur during an embarrassing or humiliating moment. When I step up to the podium just before I start a presentation my heart rate increases and my palms get sweaty. These are just two of the many symptoms of social phobia. Some other symptoms are trembling, shaking, shortness of breath, blushing, dizziness and upset stomach. These are all pretty obvious. However, there are some behavioral and cognitive symptoms that may not be. Have you ever thought to yourself, "I look out of place" or " I sound stupid?" Well, I know that I have. Once again I refer back to a presentation. All of these run through my mind when I am doing my speech. I think that it all boils down to that I care too much about how I will be perceived by others. One behavioral symptom that I am sure that everyone has experienced is to freeze. For instance, when I forget a line in my speech I freeze. Why? It is a response served to help our species survive" (12). For that moment I feel like I am in danger and do not know how to react, so I don't. These four elements are key determinants of social phobia. "The three major ideas of how biology can affect social phobias are biochemical irregularities, genetic predispositions, and the evolution of biologically based sensitivities disapproval" (17). Based on what I know about these, in relation to my body, I think that they are highly relevant factors. If a parent has a social phobia, then the probability of offspring having it increases. It was only a month ago that my mother told me that she has social fears. This was when I asked myself, "Could what I am experiencing be predisposed?" I feel that the chances are relatively high. embarrassing moment. Even though you may not recall a time immediately, I am sure that everyone has had this experience. Every time I do a speech these thoughts, along with many others, run through my mind. However, it is normal and I am not alone. Millions of Americans suffer from social phobia and don't even realize it. This leads to a very interesting part and it is maladaptive coping. Each and every individual cope with situations differently. "Maladaptive coping involves finding a way to 'deal' with your social anxiety
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Approximate Word count = 1606
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page double spaced)
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