"Imagine if everyone looked like their driver's license picture?"

It's a sure laugh. Everyone knows they will look bad on their license. It's one of the facts of life right? Tootie knew it, even Blair knew it, but I think it's a matter of attitude.

I just had my license renewed for another five years and asked the clerk in the spaceport that is now DMV, if I could keep the old one. She had an adjacent clerk pop a hole through the 'date issued' and the seal of Virginia and handed it back to me with a shrug.

(mental note: when you find the hole punch again, and go nuts punching holes in things, because it's as much fun as popping bubble wrap, lay off the new driver's license)

I had to keep the old one. It's the best picture I've ever taken. I showed it to a friend when I got it, her response, "You had it done at Glamour Shots?". She should have known that wasn't the case, because I didn't have blue eye shadow and bright red

I do believe anyone can have a better license picture, something you that doesn't make you cringe when you hand it to a doorman, one that doesn't make the cashier at 7-11 giggle. Most people go to renew or replace their license with the mindset of "Damn, I have to go to DMV today.", rather than "I have to have my picture taken today.". That's why so many people look like that one kid in school who forgot it was picture day.

Also, don't smile. I know it's kinda funny that some DMV's have spooky computers telling you what window to go to, yet they make you look at a troll doll, or some other comical figure for the picture, but don't let that troll work its evil magic on you. The only smile it will get out of you is a nervous "What a stupid idea, making me look at a troll doll"-smile. The troll doll wants you to look bad. The troll doll is evil. However, don't give the troll doll an knowing glare either. Imagine the evil troll doll suffering a horrible disfigurement, that should give you the r

Some common words found in the essay are:
Tom Brokaw, Mall America, Tootie Blair, Damn DMV, Five Imagine, Glamour Shots, troll doll, license picture, driver's license, bad license, license it's, don't troll, i'm angel,
Approximate Word count = 672
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)