Psychiatrist in a Can
You are feeling distressed, nothing is working out. All of your friends tell you to go see a shrink, so you do. You go there and the psychiatrist is supposed to be listening to you and helping you to examine and conclude what your problems are, instead all u get out of him is the occasional, "UH huh, and how does this make u fell?" or the nagging questions. Finally, after hours of therapy of you are sitting there telling your shrink about how your mother killed your favorite puppy dog by running it over with the mini-van, And you think that maybe that is the root of all of your problems. And your shrink asks you, what other words would you use to describe what your mother did to that puppy...preferably a eleven letter word, and the first thing that comes to your mind is slaughtered. Just great, your high priced shrink is not even listening to your problems; he is doodling and doing crossword puzzles In today's world we are conditioned to think that people need to go to a psychiatrist to solve their problems. Problems that include overeating, smoking, and being a work alcoholic, the list goes on and on. Instead of going to high priced, over-educated psychiatrists, I have the cheaper, less time
consuming solution to all of your life's problems. I have developed a comprehensive program that does everything a high priced professional can do, for less. It's called the AL GORE HOME TEST TO DETERMINE YOUR STATE OF MENTAL HEALTH. This program uses a set of 3 objectives that you can use to measure your progress. Lets take a look at those: Objective 1 is to determine if you are crazy. Objective 2 is alternative treatments. And finally, Objective 3: Reinstatement into the world. So as we see, constantly seeing one-thing conditions us to believe it's always going to happen. But today we broke from the norm and came up with a new way to deal with all of life's little problems. The Al Gore home test to determine metal health is a valuable tool, for only 4 easy payments of $29.95 you can accomplish all three objectives that I demonstrated to you today. Quite simple in both the development and practicing stages. Just remember the three objectives that this program will cover, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Reinstatement. So if you think that you have been diagnosised and treated, there is only one Objective left, Facing the world as a new person. Now that you have been treated with the world renowned Phil Collins Treatment, you are reading for Objective 3: Reinstatement into the world. For example, going back to work after you have been sent to the office shrink for standing atop the water cooler and preaching the gospel of President Bush can be nerve racking. Seeing everyone staring at you as you walk towards that tiny itty-bitty cubicle. Using the traditional methods of recovery and reinstatement into the world, you would and tell yourself that you should just imagine everyone naked, that ways they are more uncomfortable that you are. Well............that doesn't work. So the new method I have come up with is to simply walk in, acknowledge that you know everyone is staring at you and just continue towards your desk.. Then, all of a sudden, leap back onto the water cooler and start preaching the gospel again. This way you will be sent either to your home to recuperate and have som
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Approximate Word count = 1421
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page double spaced)
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