It started out like any other English class. I was in my assigned seat in the back just minding my own business. I remember laughing to myself about what a loser Mr. M was as he rambled on about falling down stairs. Then it happened. Thwack! All I remember is the faint sound of someone calling my name before I passed out and fell out of my chair. When I regained consciousness, I noticed that a rubber band was lying on the floor next to my foot. As I reached to pick it up and examine it, I heard a faint laugh from the other side of the room. I glanced over only to see my nemesis with an evil grin on his face as he carefully aimed another rubber band at my skull.
After class, I pondered how such an evil person could attain such a deadly weapon. How could a helpless, innocent person such as myself fall victim to a heartless criminal with an elastic? As if a criminal
with an elastic wasn't enough to disturb me, I almost vomited when I realized that our fun-loving, buyer-friendly stores, such as Wal-Mart, were really ammunition strongholds for criminals. These new types of criminals are smarter than most think. Every move is carefully mapped out. Who would think of buying weapons at a Wal-Mart? I mean, honestly it is the perfect scheme. Who could possibly blame a store with a smiley face for a mascot, for supplying Americas most-wanted?
Some say that elastics are useful for grouping things together quickly without having to tie a knot. My response to them is to get a stapler or a paperclip. These work just as well. Not only can elastics and rubber bands be shot across rooms at a lethal speed, they can also be used to shoot things. A wad of paper, or a pen cap can be just as deadly when launched from the tension of an elasti
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