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Math Proves Women Are Right

Since the beginning of time, women have theorized that men are evil. Carry Nation, an American Temperance Agitator; states this theory in her own words, "Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed devils." Never proven as a fact, this preliminary layout has been retained for thousands of years. However, this theory now has enough substance to become a truth. No longer must women hold on to the mere strings of a speculation. No longer must women doubt the extent of the existence of evil in men. It is now justifiable by mathematical proof that men are indeed evil.

To begin, it is a fact that men equal money. Couples "going Dutch," or each person agreeing to pay his or her own expenses, are becoming more popular in American society. I do not hold any objections to this form of dating; actually, I mainly prefer it. However, while most women are pleased with doing the simpler (read: cheaper) activities, most men like anything that involves toys. Few guys can resist an activity that involves cars or weapons. While most women would find a picnic a grand way to spend the afternoon, most men would pr


It is a belief held in opposition to this mathematical proof, stating that "men" could easily be replaced with "women." However, let me reiterate some of the facts that I provided earlier. Men enjoy participating in more expensive activities. Men's clothes and toys are pricey. Men do not have to spend money to look good for a date. Nor do they have to spend over an hour in making themselves ready for a date. Also, as a general rule, men are not expected to spend their time away from their women thinking of them. In fact, it is practically prohibited in male society. However, women are obligated, as a rule, to spend a certain amount of time thinking about their men. Therefore, it is not possible to replace "women" for "men."

So, how does this prove that men are evil? Well, I will explain it to you, step-by-step. Because men take up both time and money, men equal time multiplied by money. In the film industry, it is well known that "money is time, and time is money." Therefore, men equal money times money, or money squared. Because money is the root of all evil, men equal the square root of money squared. Ergo, men

Some common words found in the essay are:
Buy Ergo, Couples Dutch, Temperance Agitator, , mathematical proof, money equal, Thank God, equal money, average woman, money squared, go-kart racing, ready date, woman spend, phone call,
Approximate Word count = 756
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)


  

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