The first instance of this was on page 45 where he asked if it is necessary to pay for deeds that were necessary and right. This was brought on by Rubashov's attempt and his witnessing of his neighbor's attempt on his behalf. More is said about this during Rubashov's first journal entry on page 80. Here he attempts to explain the logic behind the party's eradication of thought that goes against party doctrine. That the party is in fact more interested in wiping out these ideas which can act as seeds taking root in future generations. Then it is in punishing people. During this entry Rubashov makes no attempt but rather feels that everything shall be sorted out by history. But for him the most painfu

Through the journal we can see that Rubashov is changing not just because of the way he answers questions but also by the questions that he asks. He at last feels the true pain, which his actions have caused. And probably for the first time, although this was not stated in the book, he feels regret. This is probably a first for him because up till now he has always felt that there was a logical justification for his actions and that feeling bad about things which are necessary is illogical. This view and stance could be easily defended and is not far from my own, but Rubashov never regrets the harm that he bestows on others. And it is in this time of despair when he should finally asks for forgiveness but rather he somewhere deep within himself felt a need to pay for the suffering that his actions have caused.

This was the story of a man who through his guise of logic and care for the people, was able to fool, not only the characters in the book and most of the readers but also himself, into thinking that he acted out of the benefit of the greater good. This being true even thou

Some common words found in the essay are:
Darkness Noon, Arthur Koestler, Arlova Rubashov, Rubashov Despite, actions caused, darkness noon,
Approximate Word count = 737
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)