Suicide Note

A detailed Summary of Suicide Note

"Suicide Note," by Janice Mirikitani, is about an Asian American college student who commits suicide by jumping from her dormitory window. This poem is read as the suicide note that was left behind by this young woman. Her last thoughts and feelings were left on this note, describing why she did what she did. The pressure to succeed that this student felt from herself and her parents was far too much to overcome.

This poem begins by describing some of the harsh feelings associated with failure. She starts by writing "not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough." These phrases are repeated throughout the poem. For one reason or another, this woman felt that her accomplishments were not perfect, therefore not worthy. She is not congratulated on how well she does. She apologizes for failing to achieve a perfect four-point grade average. She says "Each disappointment, ice above my river." Failure stops her river from flowing, as if it stops her heart from beating. Because of these failures, she strives to work harder, in turn setting herself up to fail once again. Many of these emotions only existed because she did not feel that her parents were pleased.

A majority of this note was written as an apology to her

parents for not fulfilling their wants and desires. "I apologize for disappointing you. I've worked very hard. not good enough. harder, perhaps to please you. (167)" She carries with her this burden for not becoming everything her parents wanted her to be. She worked to her potential, and gave extra effort to please them. Her parents expected too much, and for that reason she was never able to make them happy. She wishes that she were a son because that way her parents would not expect her to do as well in school. "I would see...the golden pride reflected in my fathers dream of my wide, male hands worthy of work and comfort. I would swagger through life, muscled and bold and assured, drawing praises to me. (167)" As a female, she feels like she cannot accomplish anything worthy of praise. She works so hard at her schooling and doesn't get congratulated on how good of a job she did. She is only haunted by the idea that she could have done better. If she were a boy, she would be able to please them in many other ways, aside from school.

The girl in this poem feels that taking her own life is the only way to escape her harsh reality. "I make this ledge my alter to offer penance. This air will not hold me." Since success is not an option, she feels that by offering herself she will be free from all of her pain. The air will not hold her as her parents did not hold her. They did the opposite and pushed her away. She could not be acknowledged for her work because it wasn't good enough. This was her way of getting acknowledgemen

Some common words found in the essay are:
Asian American, satisfy parents, girl poem, please parents, air hold, doesn't feel, unable satisfy parents, poem feels, unable satisfy, live life, own life, trying please,

Approximate Word count = 1047
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)

Category: English