One of my closest friend¯s sister called Anne hosted a dinner at her house because it was her birthday. Anne was all excited and told her friends that it was going to be a fun night. Her boyfriend, Taylor, helped her out early on the day with her groceries and some house chores. He was a sweetheart. The night was going smoothly but unexpectedly, Anne¯s out of down ex-boyfriend surprised her with a visit as he is was in town for his brother¯s wedding. Anne was shocked but greeted him and invited him inside. During the night, they were asking about themselves and asking how they¯ve been. Their conversation was running smoothly until he asked her to accompany him to the wedding as his date; sure enough, without giving the situation much thought, she accepts and decides. Taylor is left in the dark because she hadn¯t mentioned him for a while and all of a sudden, she¯s going to a wedding with him and he greatly fears that he might lose Anne to her ex-
In this case, emotions are being thrown back and forth at each other between the couple and each learns a little something more about each other. For example we learn about how deep Taylor¯s fear is of losing Anne. According to psychologists, °people vary in their motivation to avoid failure and to achieve success, the motive to avoid failure can stimulate achievement± (Weiten, 2000, p. 293). In the given example between Anne and Taylor, he forbids her to attend the wedding with her ex-boyfriend because he fears that something so romantic, such as a wedding, may spark something between the two again and is afraid of losing her. The °forbidding± is Taylor¯s way to avoid a failure between him and his girlfriend such as breaking up and at the time being, he must have believed that by forbidding her go to the wedding with her ex-boyfriend, it would be an achievement or a success and the two would be as happy as they were before the ex-boyfriend showe
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