Wrotten Song -
There have been a lot of terrible tunes in the past, ranging everywhere from new wave pop, to 70's disco, to some really bad 80's metal. The 90's succeeded in topping all of these with the creations of the pop princess, and the boy-band. Everyone knows the terror that ensues when a group of overworked and underpaid Applebee's waitresses decide it's time to embarrass you for the rest of your life. Nothing says "I Suck!" like Los Del Rio's "Macarena". Celine Dion stopped my heart and made me heave with "My Heart Will Go On". Sonny and Cher's "The Beat Goes On" made me feel like I'd been beaten to death after it was over. Ultimately though, the bowels of hell were built on the shoulders of a single man. Sisqo sucks, plain and simple, it just can't be explained in any better words. I sat and pondered for many hours trying to derive the perfect phrase to begin this paper. In the end, I had to use "Sisqo sucks," I felt that I was lying to myself if I used anything else. +"The Thong Song," a late 90's R&B ode to the g-string, is by far the worst song ever created. It sustains this position
The lyrical content of "The Thong Song" is revolting. Let's take a trip into the imminent demise of the civilized world, and sing about a girl with a big butt who's showing off her floozy ass-gear. The first line that should grab your attention, and choke you with a kung-fu grip, is "She got dumps like a truck, truck, truck." WHAT THE FUCK?! Did I hear that right? She just took a shit on the beach... my lord. This may have some subliminal meaning like "she's got a nice ass" somewhere in the rap-world's dictionary, but all I can think of is a 400-pound truck driver with a "Leroy" nametag stumbling out of his usual Saturday night bathroom stall. Sisqo continues this meander of noise with "Thighs like what, what, what." If I was a thigh, and I saw a "dump like a truck" coming out of my body's ass, I must say that I'd be screaming a lot more than "what, what, what." This is enough suck to last me for a whole year, but unfortunately enough he continues with "I think I'll sing it again," no... please don't. In conclusion, Sisqo sucks, there it is again. I can't get it out of my head; on
Some common words found in the essay are:
Thong Song, Unleash Dragon, Beat Goes, , Trust I've, I'd Bruce, Dru Hill, Bruce Lee, Celine Dion, retarded monkey, sisqo sucks, record sales, thong song, sisqo retarded, lyrical content, truck truck, retarded monkeys, thong thong, sisqo retarded monkey,
Approximate Word count = 741
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)
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