Interdependence
To be able to better apply the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, it is first necessary to understand the how they are structured. Covey himself admits that the seven habits are derived from common sense; he merely organized them in order to make it easier for others to understand. The Seven Habits are a set of basic, generic guidelines that all flow from one another - that is, the application of the latter habits requires the knowledge and employment of the initial ones. These initial habits (habits 1-3) deal almost solely with the improvement of the individual himself, helping one gain a greater control over oneself and improving and refining one's lifestyle. Whereas habits 1-3 require an inward gaze on oneself, the latter habits (habits 4-6), on the other hand, turns one's attention outwards, concentrating on one's interpersonal relationships. Covey brings his point across very clearly: one must first gain mastery of the self before one can improve offer others help, or improve on one's relationship with them. As much as one may try to gloss over personal improvement and mastery, and instead direct all attention to the externals, sooner or later, it will become apparent that such efforts of outward impro
It is at this point that the concepts of dependence, independence and interdependence must be clarified - what exactly do they mean? And why is it necessary for effective living that one move from one realm into the other? Covey describes dependence as a condition where one continually needs others to obtain his desires and needs, whether these needs are emotional, intellectual, financial or physical. An attitude of dependence is an attitude of you - you take care of me, you are the reason I do things, you are the one who I base all my emotions, preferences and dislikes on - you are the cause and the end for me. Although certain qualifications must be made: that one cannot avoid dependence in life, and indeed, there are times in one's life that dependence is not only natural, but also a necessity. Perhaps the best example that can be given of this instance is a baby's condition. He is unable to earn money for himself, make intellectual decisions, indeed, he is unable to even walk by himself. But it must also be mentioned that while the child grows up, the natural trend is that he grows less and less dependent on his parents - he learns to make decisions on his own, he establishes his separate set of preferences and dislikes, he learns to take care of his physical needs. As a child, he must have a measure of separation from his parents, realizing that he has a separate identity, that his personhood is not merged with theirs. Dependence is a natural first stage - one is taught the basics within a new job environment, one relies mostly on migrated acquaintances in foreign countries, one looks to his parents and elders while he is still young. It must be clarified that this natural and initial dependence and its members is not what Covey regards as unfavorable. Rather, what is being discussed is a misshapen and aberrant reliance on others. Dependence becomes unnatural and distorted when the dependent refuses to move out of his dependency (seeing dependency as the only acceptable option) and into self-reliance, even though he already possesses the capabilities to be independent; he refuses to move out of his comfort zone and face challenges himself. Such an attitude is extremely detrimental to the dependent and to others - to the latter simply because of the fact that no one can be totally and utterly responsible for someone else forever (being responsible to oneself is tiring and complicated enough!) and to the former because it prevents him from developing his full potential. vement will be futile unless one first pays attention to the development of the self. The individual who is relied upon becomes a crutch, a buffer for the dependent. So long as the dependent has someone on whom to shift all his burdens to, he has no need and no desire to explore his capabilities or to engage in genuine self-assessment. What are the implications of continued and misplaced dependency? An individual who is always a function of everyone and everything around him tends to see himself as the perpetual victim - and this, in a sense, is true - because he relies on others too much, himself unwilling (not unable) and believing himself unable to do anything, he truly is practically at the mercy of others, for he does nothing to wrest his fate from their hands. He is buffeted along the winds of circumstance, a willing victim because he allows himself to be forever robbed of the opportunity to manage his own life. Because he runs away from facing the world himself, he grows more and more to see the world as oppressive, beyond his capability to handle; he loses hope (perhaps that is also why most dependents easily get depressed and admit defeat almost instantly) of being able to take charge of matters himself, and this in turn drives him deeper i
Some common words found in the essay are:
Seven Habits, Effective People, , dependence independence, habits 4-6, habits 1-3, own life, shift interdependence, movement dependence independence, one's own life, move realm, intellectual dependence, mastery self, latter habits, one's own,
Approximate Word count = 2528
Approximate Pages = 10 (250 words per page double spaced)
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