Twain starts his essay with the announcement: "I have pretty much made up my mind to run for president." (80 Readings p.225) He then proceeds to argue that he is the best candidate because he has and will disclose all his weaknesses so that no derogatory revelations can come to light. One by one, the skeletons in his closet are paraded before the reader in their most exaggerated form. He first admits to attempted murder and inhumanity, writing that he has forced his old, rheumatic grandfather

By proudly recounting his wickedness in his decision to run for president, Twain implies that all candidates for president are guilty of the same wicked deeds and thoughts. His parting campaign slogan, of being "a safe man - a man who starts from the basis of total depravity and proposes to be fiendish to the last," is meant to highlight his opponents' lack of honesty about his depravity, thus justifying his decision to run for president.

at gunpoint, to climb up a tree and stay there throughout a long winter's night. Moreover, he claims that he would do it again if he had another grandfather, proof that he is not pleading any false remorse. Twain then speaks of his cowardice, telling of how he ran away at the battle of Gettysburg because he was scared. He says that "I wanted my country saved, but I preferred to have somebody else save it." Again, there is no fake expression of remorse. Instead he says, "I entertain that preference yet." Twain continues and

Some common words found in the essay are:
Mark Twain, Twain American, run president, decision run president, decision run, mark twain, attempted murder, political cartoon, running president,
Approximate Word count = 655
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)