Birth Order
Sigmeund Freud was the first psychotherapist to say: "a child's position in the sequence of brother and sisters is of very great significance for one course of his later life" (Richardson 12). One's birth order position (whether born first, second, last, etc.), one's sex (male or female), and the sex of one's siblings affects the kind of person one becomes. People often say they can't understand "how people from the same family can be so different". What they do not realize is that each sibling is born into a different family. Each new child needs to create a unique identity separate from the others. However this new identity is created within the context of those who are already there. The people in a family change in many ways between the birth of each new child. Many variables impact on each sibling. These include the physical circumstances in which a family finds itself, (ie. location, income, residents), the emotional stability of the family, (ie. well adjusted parents, parental experience, settled career), and lastly the state in which they find themselves, (ie. decade, wartime, country). These variables mean that each child will be treated differently by parents and siblings and this is done usually unintentionally
Since only children are never displaced by younger siblings, they're never in the position of having to defend their position as the favoured child. They are more often considered special and precious by their parents than children with siblings. Since they never have to share their parents, only children know their position in the family is assured no matter what. (Richardson 156) Despite not having any siblings to learn from or take after, general characteristics of only children are; they are more exaggerated versions of the oldest child. They are generally super responsible, confident and get along great with adults. Only children always want to be number one and demand perfection from oneself and from others. They are original and daring, conscientious and reliable, and sophisticated and independent. (Anonymous 1) Middles do well in friendships and marriages with most other birth orders. Middle children may stay in destructive relationships longer than most people because they do not want to give up the place they have made for themselves outside of the family and are willing to keep trying to make it work. Parents usually have fewer expectations of the youngest throughout childhood and put much less pressure on the youngest to achieve great things. As a result, as one might guess, youngests usually do achieve less. Most youngests just get by as students and may be the class clown and/ or delinquent. They're the least career-oriented of the birth orders. They tend to look for work that is not too demanding, or something that will fit into their life of leisure activities. As discussed and proven, birth order is a significant factor in personality development, behaviour and outlook. There are three major birth orders; the firstborns, the middle child, and the last born. One other notable position is that of the only child which usually takes on the role of a firstborn and then some. Hence, an only child is often referred to as the "Super First Born". "It is a scientific fact proven time and again that your position in your family shapes your approach to life" (Leman 9). Your birth order and sex determines a large part how other people in your family react to you and treat you which in turn influences what you think about yourself and how you react to and treat others inside and outside the family. It should also be noted that birth order not only affects reactions and behaviour. One's birth order affects a plethora of things which include one's IQ, consumption of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, depression and mental illness, and creativity. (Ernst i - v) The topic birth order has proven to be very interesting and educational. It is amazing and fun to know more about yourself and your siblings through the order in which we were all born. One can only wonder how much one's life is out of one's control by virtue of being born first, middle or last. Does birth order really determine who one is or will become or do other factors come into play? "Oldests usually want to have children and are responsible parents. They may be very nurturing and loving and crave the respect of their children. However they could also be overprotective and strict, sometimes harsh, and often appear as cold and distant people to their children" (Richardson 57). Oldests children can be very demanding for their children to become adults. As a result this pressures the child to learn at a faster pace than normal. It could also be noted that oldest children of small families are usually happier parenting than the oldests of large families. This is because oldests of larger families may have been over burdened and burned out during their childhood while caring for their younger siblings. (Richardson 56-57)
Some common words found in the essay are:
Balance Key, Sigmeund Freud, Adams/ Anonymous, Super Born, middle children, Miss Compliant, anonymous 1, children usually, middle borns, middle child, people birth, people family, born children, outside family, react treat, 2 anonymous 1, adams 2 anonymous, middle children usually, react treat inside, yourself react treat,
Approximate Word count = 4095
Approximate Pages = 16 (250 words per page double spaced)
|
