Waiting in line to fill out a form. Waiting for a bubblegum-smacking bimbette to point out an pale plastic seat. The terrible waiting in a terrible waiting room. A colour-coded monstrosity overflowing with wheezing zombies staring a flat-paint walls. Or burying their weird heads in magazines best lining Aunt Betty's birdcage. The thought of sitting elbow to elbow in a room full of sick people makes me that much sicker.

Admit it! Any person forcing you to wait that long deserves a serious smack in the face. I want to smack him now before I get the bill. I want to smack him for his poor taste in decor. I want to yell and smack the SOB for his magazine selection alone. And I definitely want to smack this germ-carrying freak next to me coughing up the Ebola virus in my direction.

Looking up at the so-called secretary with a tic-tac for a brain, you wonder how these people avoid illness wading through room after room of da

What is taking these people so long? I have meetings to attend, places to go, people to sell crap they don't need. I can make my own diagnoses of most of the people in this terrible waiting room. The guy next to me has the flu. Which means I got it tomorrow. Gracias Amigo. That big lady over there has gout in both her legs. Probably from flipping pancakes for forty years at a greasy-spoon roadstop. The two-year old seems to have an ear infection or maybe she's upset over the fact that her mother isn't old enough to have a driver's license. This doctor stuff is easy, so hurry-the-hell up before I diagnose again!

I'm not too fond of these doctors either. Nor are you---so don't deny it. They disguise everything. Stupid white lab coats hide body language. Unreadable handwriting, curiously enough, only pharmacists can read. (Between you and I, they're working together!) They speak Latin terms most parish priests couldn't pronounce even if the Pope were sitting in the first pew. Like I said---they disguise everything; before you know it, you're swallowing nasty orange pills, pissing blue urine, and passing out his business cards by the water cooler.

Someone answer me this: Who gave p

Some common words found in the essay are:
Aunt Betty's, Gracias Amigo, Waiting Madness, Sir Doctor, Nurse Boobjob, terrible waiting, it's hands, you're it's hands, you're it's,
Approximate Word count = 801
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)