Esther also associates the death of her father with her happiness:.

             `I was only purely happy until I was nine years old. After that - in spite of the girl scouts and piano lessons. all of which my mother scrimped to give me. I had never been really happy again'.

             this quotation shows that Esther always feels that her mother is doing the wrong thing.

             The death of her father when she was so young also contributes, I think, to Esther`s problems with men. She is judgmental, especially about men:.

             `The thought of dancing with that little runt in his. mingy T-shirt. made me laugh. If there's anything to look down on it's a man in a blue outfit.'.

             I think that because she was not old enough to find fault with her father before he died, she is frequently comparing men with his perfect image.

             Esther does not seem to have much success with men and this could be a contributing factor to her suicide attempt; although there are many examples of Esther trying to have a relationship, such as with Buddy Willard, Constantin and Eric, none are successful:.

             `. of all the blind dates I`d had that year not one had called me up for a second date. I just didn't have any luck. I hated coming down stairs. and finding some pale mushroomy fellow with protruding ears or buck teeth or a bad leg. I didn't think I deserved it.'.

             One factor which contributes to her problems with men is her under confidence and feeling of inadequacy:.

             `when I was with him I had to work to keep my head above water.'.

             Throughout the novel, especially at the beginning, Esther suffers an inferiority complex:.

             `I didn't have any illusions. I knew perfectly well he'd come for Doreen.'.

             I believe that this idea of inadequacy contributed to the development of her mental illness:.

             `I felt dreadfully inadequate. The problem was that I`d been inadequate all along, I simply hadn't thought about it.'.

             There is evidence that her mother contributed to this feeling of inadequacy:.